Happily Unhappy!!

All happy families resemble one another, but each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way -Leo Tolstoy

In last two months I have taken couple of eventful trips across America. These trips turned out to be informative, illustrative, lucrative (in terms of nature and her appeal), and privative (as I had been issued a speeding ticket) but mainly these were an enlightening and envisioning experiences for me to help me grow cautious and curious, at the same time, for something stupendous that I will be confronting with soon in my life.

I reckon the timing was great to take a trip across US as spring had arrived just then. Rich green leaves and feel of fresh life in budding flowers was there to attest the arrival of spring. As always, I was animated to meet up my friends whom I had not seen in years. Most of them had already moved on to their next phase, a phase ahead of mine. But as I started to learn their experiences and incidents occurred, I grew fanciful, I grew skeptical, and I grew sensitive.

The moment I saw the couple I felt I was seeing a full circle, a circle of fulfillment, a circle of accomplishments and a circle of trust. They both seemed to form a team, just like Bonnie and Clyde, who were tenaciously trustful to relation that bound them to one another. I could see the ray of happiness in the eyes of them. At first that ray was so bright that I couldn’t pick the dark spots that were hiding in the background. Once I could spot them, those spots were overwhelming and very disturbing that I couldn’t distract myself to acknowledge the shiny rich brightness that was all over a just moment ago. That dark spot literally left me blind and all I could see was happy faces that had masqueraded the misery and apathy filled life. So cynical, I was!!

A moment of negativity will definitely leaves one dubious. But often a waft of contemplation will decisively brings one back to the sanity. And me no exception to that, gave a pinch of thought and slowly understood that most of the problems were beyond their control. Even though some were man made, most were market made and unfortunately market made are always unmanageable but I couldn’t say uncountable. Almost all everybody had the problems with either money or status, or even both. No matter where I went, I kept hearing the same words uttered, I got astonished to understand the level of compromises they had to undergo just to be on the safer side, the altitudes of emotional trauma that they had to suffer by staying away from home in the land of American dream/nightmare (We all know that we pay huge price to live the ‘Desi’ American dream. Does it worth it? That’s another debate). But there was one common soothing act at all the instances; they have one another to be glad and glum, to share the joy and jeopardy. One always finds a shoulder to lean on when one is in vain. In fact these uncertainties in career and unending travails to stay legal are helping them come closer to each other. These pains are proving to be assisting the couple in gluing to one another more effectively and more firmly.

But if you had to ask, is this how you want to get close to your partner, I would say, it doesn’t matter how you find love in your partner (as long as it is not unethical or immoral), the important factor is to find love and affection, most vital aspect is to have that love growing continually even after the difficult situation ceases to exist.

On the whole, one seems to feel secluded as days go by. But right at that moment, life partner comes handy. Life partner is as much needed for one as life itself. Especially when you are living away from home, a partner is must (it doesnt mean, you dont need one if you are staying home. The statement only fortifies the improtance of Partner). He/she may not help solve the problems but he/she will definitely step in to reconcile the life.

So my friends (single), go find one!!

Certain Uncertainty

These days life seems to be dwelling in uninterrupted uncertainty. The answerless questions keep popping up each and every instant my life, when I drive, when I work, when I eat and even when I sleep. Unfortunately my forgetfulness is of no help.

Life seemed to be taking a new turn couple of months back and at the same time I had this fear that something would go wrong and it did go wrong, just like Murphy said. Since then, I have been kept at bay, waiting for an approval, leaving me in doldrums. When my ship of dreams got capsized in the wave of hope for change, just like someone turned my dreams off and woke me up to a nightmare, I got worried, at first, that I might lose my ground itself. And then I grew despondent, feeling hapless at all the things that have turned their back at me. Later, I became nonchalant, as I realized there was very little I could do to straighten up the mess.

However, my nonchalance seems to have faded away with the time. My impatience had me impose some bruised feelings on my clique. I have been distressed with the thought that many lives are continuously beleaguered with my indecisive status. The biggest quandary for them is that their ambiguousness of the existing problem. I don’t have guts to imagine the predicament they are going through when they see a face full of uncouth questions. More importantly, these confrontations are quiet unavoidable and always end up in individual conclusions and most of these have a crooked touch to their opinion.

As for me, I feel guilty for letting down that one person, I feel blameworthy for the chaos that has been stirring us down into the realm of uncertainty. I feel culpable for my parents having to answer many trivial faces which they never had to all these years until this happened.

The feeling of hopelessness and helplessness itself is enough to demoralize a person to downfall. The feeling of being left out in gutter for the reasons that are unquestionably beyond reasonable, leaves me flabbergasted and mournful. There is no logic for this tight spot. Then again, searching logics for every incident in your life would be a futile effort. Few things lack explanation, and few things don’t welcome explanation.

Some incidents in life, no matter how trivial they are, will leave an impeccable mark, will teach an unforgettable lesson. The pebbles which I thought they were have become boulders that may (or may not) easily sink me down along with them. At the end I may emerge successfully, but the lesson, the trauma, the perturbation and the powerlessness will never ever be forgotten.

But till that time, I hope to remain sane, I hope to stay vertical, I hope to see myself balanced, no matter how deep the evil paws of unrest claw in.

అభిప్రాయాంబుధి !!

చాలా రోజులుగా నా వ్రాతలు ఆగిపోయాయి. ఇలా ఆగిపోయిన ప్రతిసారి, నన్ను నేను అడిగే ప్రశ్న, అయిపొయిందా నా తృష్న? ఈ సందేహం నా ఆహాన్ని దెబ్బతీసిందేమో కాని నా దాహాన్ని తీర్చలేకపొయింది. నాలో కలిగే అనుభూతులకు, నాలో రేగే అలోచనలకు ఒక రూపం ఇవ్వాలన్న నా ఆసక్తిని ఆపలేకపొయింది. నా అభిప్రాయలకు ఎదో ఒక రూపం ఇవ్వాలన్న నా తపన, ఎలాగైన ఒక రూపం ఇవ్వాలన్న నా తొందరపాటును ఎప్పుడు తరిమివేస్తూనే ఉంది. ఏదో ఒక రూపం ఇవ్వడానికి, ఎలాగైన రూపం ఇవ్వడానికి చాలా తేడా ఉంది. ఎదో రూపం ఇచ్చే ప్రయత్నంతో మొదలుపెట్టి, ఎలాగైన రూపం ఇచ్చే దశకు చేరుకొన్న నన్ను నేను చూసి, అసంతృప్తితో, ఆవేదనతో, నిరాశతో, నిస్తేజంతో నిర్లిప్తంగా వెనుదిరిగిన రోజులు కోకొల్లలు.

కొన్ని అభిప్రాయలు రాయిపైన చెక్కని శిల్పాల వలె మిగిలిపొతాయి. కొన్ని అలోచనలు ఆకుని తాకని బిందువులాగ కరిగిపొతాయి. ప్రతి మనిషి ప్రతి సంధర్భానికి, ప్రతి సమస్యకి, ప్రతి సన్నివేషానికి ఒక నిర్దిష్ట అభిప్రాయాన్ని, లేదా ఒక నిర్దిష్ట స్పందనను ఏర్పర్చుకొంటాడు. ఇలాంటి, ఈ ఏర్పర్చుకొన్న స్పందన వారి వారి అవగాహన, వారి వారి అనుభవాల మీద ఆధారపడి ఉంటుంది. ఇలా అందరిలోను పుట్టిన అభిప్రాయాలు అందరికి వినబడవు, దానికి కారణాలు చాలా ఉన్నాయి. కొందరు వ్యక్త పర్చలేరు, కొందరికి వ్యక్త పర్చడం వ్యక్తిత్వం కాదు. ఇలా పరిసరాలు, పరిస్థితులు పరిగణనలోకి తీసుకొని పరిశీలిస్తే అన్ని అభిప్రాయాలు అందలం ఎందుకు ఎక్కవో అర్థం అవుతుంది.

మనలో పుట్టే అభిప్రాయాలు, విరివనములో స్వేచ్చగా విహరించే సీతకొకచిలుకలవంటివి కొన్ని, ఇంకా రూపాంతరత చెందని గొంగళిపురుగులా క్లుప్తంగా, వీడి వీడని మత్తులా, మబ్బుల వెనక దాగిన జాబిలిలా కొన్ని. అన్ని అభిప్రాయాలు అందరికి తెలియాలా? తెలియనక్కర్లేదు, తెలిసినా తప్పులేదు. అన్ని తెలిసినా, మనిషి తనకు నచ్చింది మాత్రమే తనతో మోసుకెళ్తాడు. లేదా ముందు అన్నట్టు, తెలియనక్కర్లేదు, ఎందుకంటే నాలో కలిగే వెయ్యి అలోచనల ఫలితం నేను రాసే ఈ పది రాతలు మాత్రమే!! ఇలా కలిగిన వెయ్యి అలోచనలలో, చాలా మటుకు తల తోక తెలియక పుట్టినవే. లేదా నాకు తికమక కలిగించినవే. కొన్ని నాకు అర్థం అయిన నేను అందరికి అర్థం అయ్యేలా చెప్పలేనివి. కొన్ని నేను రాయలేనివి, కొన్ని నేను రాయకూడనివి. ఇలా నాకు కలిగిన అనంతమైన అలోచనల నుంచి, అవధులులేని అభిప్రాయాల నుండి, రూపంతరత చెందిన, నేను అర్ధం చేసుకొన్న, నలుగురికి అర్థం అయ్యేలా చెప్పగలిగే నాలుగు పదాలను రాయడానికి పట్టే వ్యవధి కొన్ని సార్లు తీరాలను దూరం చేసిన అగాధంలా అనిపించినా, సన్నిహితుల ప్రొత్సాహం, సదా నాలో ఉరకలేసే ఉత్సాహం, తీరం తాకి వచ్చిన అలల స్పర్షలా అనిపించి, నన్ను, నా అవ్యక్త భావాలాకు ఒక రూపాన్ని కలిగించేలా చేస్తుంది, దాని ఫలితమే మీరు చదివిన ఈ పదాల మంజరి, నాలో మ్రోగిన అనుభూతి మువ్వల లాహిరి.

Limited Immunity

All the talk about ‘no one would target cricketers’ sound very depressing and unappealing now. Yet another attack by terrorists’ shook up Pakistan, but this time the target was cricket team of Sri Lanka, who stepped up to fill in the void when team India pulled out, citing the security concern.

Tuesday 2nd march, 2009 seemed like any other day, but in the wildest dreams no one anticipated something malicious would be the order of the day. No one thought that the events following the shiny early morning would send tremors in cricketing world which would eventually drive Pakistan away and label as cricketing pariah. Twelve masked terrorists, who seemed to be well trained, who were in ambush, attacked the convoy of Sri Lankan Team that was on the way to Gaddafi stadium. A grenade was also thrown at the bus but it missed. They started shooting at team members, who were inside the bus sitting ducks, indiscriminately and in the process killed six gunmen and two civilians. After they wreaked havoc all the terrorists were able to get away without any difficulty, which is clearly impalpable. Some of the victims have sustained heavy blows but the most of them were stable and conscious. The Lahore test was called off immediately and the players were taken to near by secured areas.

This solo attack on the players, even though, didn’t claim any lives, fortunately, but the fear that it has created is overwhelming. All these days there was a talk that cricket would never be a target of the mask men. But it’s now very clear that no one would be spared. I feel that the whole talk about cricket wouldn’t be a target was neither confident nor convincing; it was more of presumptuous mixed with a ray of hope. I believe that the motives and ambitions (right or wrong, that’s another debate) of terrorists are much stronger than their love for cricket, I mean they have to be, otherwise we wouldn’t have seen this chaos. I don’t think they even give a damn about cricket or for that matter anything else except their purpose.

But the biggest question that prevails now is the status of Pakistan in cricket terms. As of now, no team is open and willing to tour Pakistan in foreseen future. Their consensus will remain same until something miraculous happens. But considering the current situations of trouble hit Pakistan, recuperation and redemption seems highly unlikely. But, will abandoning Pakistan really solves the problems? I don’t think so; in fact it strengthens the vicious circle that has been surrounding us and menacing to catapult us. If we keep abandoning the terrorist hit soils, we may have to stop playing cricket in South-Asia right away and one has to think twice before committing to play away from home. (This year’s IPL will be a crucial and challenging one for organizers to run it smoothly, especially as the schedule is coinciding with the General Election.)

Terrorism has no home. Terrorism has no region or religion. It is ubiquitous and it is fight among human beings. Nobody has a solution to alleviate, if not eradicate, the terrorism which has been deep rooted convolutedly in minds of few ruffians.

I feel Pakistan had a golden opportunity to prove the strength of its security and to win the accolades of other cricket playing nations by taking some serious measures to prevent the attack on the visiting team. It would have been a huge boost for the other nations to comply with request of Pakistan to pay visit. But the pandemonium leaves me in uncertainty of disbelief, a disbelief that started to linger in my mind asking if Pakistan is a new cemetery where cricket rests alive and unmercifully and we all stare at it's downfall despondently.

Rah'Maniac'!!

‘Music fills the infinite between two souls’, yes, it does. In fact, last night, it did fill the infinite (not literally) hiatus that had been in existing for long time between west and east. Finally, Rahman’s sleight of hand did capture the hearts of Academy award. The honor was befitting and remarkable to his excellence in music.

When I listened to the tunes of Roja first time, even though Rahman was a some new guy on the block, those tunes were so mesmerizing that I totally fell in love with his work. Undoubtedly, it was not just me, but the whole nation gone wild tapping their foot to the tunes of Roja and predictably he was honored by his first national award and a new era embarked in Indian music history. Since then his music always had his essence added to it. His tunes were/are typically peculiar. Some of the songs demanded the audience to listen more than once to get into groove of the song.

In this journey he worked with different directors in different languages. Amongst, some of his combinations have proved to be setting new trend in music history. I would be lying if I said I could pick his best numbers. There are so many, there is Roja, there is Indian, Bombay, Rangeela, Taal, Dil Se, Rhythm, and the list goes on and on… His tunes have all the flavors one would expect, some are nostalgic (theme of Bombay for sure), some are soothing (Jashn-e-Baharaa, instrumental Flute), some would set you afire, some would let you perspire in astonishment, some are romantic, some are classic and some are periodic and some are contemporary. He alone, invaded all the genres of music and he himself invented a genre of his own.

Of all the experiments, I like his Sufi songs more than anything. They totally draw my attention. I think Sufi has that magic to drive you oblivion to the contemporary world and divulge the beauty of divine words with the sense of music.

I am completely privileged to be in the era of AR Rahman. I have been witnessing and relishing his music and of course, keeping my collection updated since the time he started off his journey. The journey has led us to explore a world beyond our thoughts, a rainbow beyond the colors and dreams beyond our imaginations, through his music.

Watch out world, here comes the Mozart of Madras!!

Familiar Stranger!!

"With gun in my hand, I feel safe" I hear these words even after the weeks of conversation that I had with my colleague. Those words keep hammering my tympanum and conscience keeps questioning me.

At the beginning people living in particular places developed a particular culture according to their needs and availabilities. A habit in one culture might be an offense in another. An abuse in one civilisation might be a trait in another. The place where I work is full of people who started playing with guns and ammo at the age of five or six, where as me touched my own toy gun at the age of nine. My zero knowledge about guns keeps me totally out of the loop when it comes to the group conversations at work. I don't regret that though. I regret that they look at the gun as peacekeeper (at least mentally). I regret that they feel safer with the gun in hand.

As the recession looms bigger and deeper, the urge to own a gun grows bigger. There are few people who believe that melt down in economy would lead to a spike in the theft and lootings. One feels these hand guns ammo would be handy at the times of difficulty to keep oneself safe and secured.

Meanwhile, the quagmire of Indians living in US keeps bulging with the increase in mysterious homicides. This puzzle becomes obscure and murky with never heard feedback from investigators. Obviously, Indian media send chills to the parents making this whole quandary more complicated and more convoluted. I believe, these murders have nothing in common except that they all are Indians(thats why they talk about these back home). One big coincidence is that all are Andhraites. It would be preposterous to take this coincidence as preconceived notion by killers to gun down Andhraites. By going gaga over these murders and by covering up ourselves under the blanket of terror, we wouldn’t achieve any better solution. One way to minimize the threat, if not prevent, would be staying alert of environment and refrain ourselves from the designated dangerous neighborhoods. We all have to accept that, even in a free country, there are certain places where we are not allowed to roam around freely at certain times.

The plunge in economy and growth in unemployment certainly drove the US to doldrums. The turn around might take an year or two, which is very uncertain as we are not yet sure that meltdown had hit the bottom. But in the meantime, the desperation to stay aloof from penury will definitely lead some of us to inhuman. Those are the times one needs to more vigilant and more humane. I am not saying, being humane would solve all the problems, but holding a gun wouldn’t solve the problem at all.

If I look at the circumstances, I feel pity on myself that I don’t know which one I should consider more threatening, an unknown ruffian who is after Indians (supposedly, as per media) or familiar face at the work who holds a gun and is not hesitant to aim at me, if he feels a threat, to keep himself safe.

I asked one colleague, why do you carry a gun? He replied, “its my freedom, use it or else, will lose it.”

What a Bummer!!

२००९!!

రైల్వే స్తేషన్ క్రిక్కిరిసి ఉంది. ప్లాట్ ఫారం అంతా గోల గోలగా ఉంది. అర్థం కాని మాటల వరద ఎడతెరిపి కురుస్తుంది. ఒకవైపు ఎదురుచూచి అలిసిన ప్రయాణికుల నిరాశను పారద్రోలడానికి మైకులో ఒక గొంతు ప్రయాసలు పడుతుంది. ఇంకో వైపు టీవీలో ప్రయాణికుల నిస్తేజాన్ని నిర్ములనకై ఒక అమ్మాయి తెగ పాట్లు పడుతుంది. అలా మాటల వరద, మూటల బురద దాటుతూ మంచినీళ్ళ కొళాయి వేటలో పడ్డాను. ఇందాక దిగిన రైలులో నీళ్ళు ఎంత తాగిన దాహం తీరం లేదు. బహుశ నీళ్ళు మంచివి కావు అనుకొంటా, లేదా నా దాహం సముద్రంలా విశాలం, ఎదో ఒకటి!! ఎది ఎమైనా, ముందు మంచి నీళ్ళు కావాలి.

అలా ముందుకు నడిచాను. నడిచాను అనడం కంటే పాకాను అంటాను. ఇసుకేస్తే రాలనంత జనం, అతిశయోక్తి అయిన దాదాపు అలానే ఉంది. అందరు వారి వారి మాటల్లో మునిగి ఉన్నారు. అలా వెళ్తూ ఉండగా, ఇద్దరు నడివయస్సు మహిళలు 'ఈ ట్రైన్ అయిన రావల్సిన టైంకి వస్తుందా. ఇందాకటిది బాగా ఆలస్యమయ్యింది. ముందు వస్తే ఇలా జరుగకపొయేదేమో?, దానికి బదులుగా, 'లోకంలో ఎప్పుడు జరగనట్టు అంటున్నావే, ఇప్పుడు ఈ ట్రైన్ రావల్సిన టైంకి వచ్చినా, అనుకొన్న పనులు అవుతాయా?' అప్రయత్నాంగానే వాళ్ళ మాటలు నా చెవిన పడ్డాయి. ఇద్దరిలో ఒక ఆవిడ ఆవిరి అయిన నమ్మకం వెనక దాగిఉన్న ఒక ఆశ బిందువుని చూడలని ఆరాటపడుతుంది, ఇంకో ఆవిడ ఎడారి ప్రయాణంలో ఒయాసిస్సు దాహం తీర్చదు అంటుంది. తను ఎన్ని కష్టాలు తరువాత ఈ నిర్ణాయనికి వచ్చిందో!! ఎన్ని కష్టాలు అనుభవించిన, భవితపైన ఆశ ఉండాలి, అనుకొంటూ, అదే ఆశను నమ్ముకొన్న నేను, ఆ స్తేషన్లో నీళ్ళు దొరుకుతాయని ముందుకు కదిలాను.

నేను నడుస్తున్న స్టేషన్ భాగం చిందర వందరగా కనిపించింది. ఎక్కడికి అక్కడ గుంపులు గుంపులుగా మనుషులు, అలాంటి గుంపులు అన్నీ కలిసి జన సందోహంలాగ అనిపించింది. ఏ గుంపు కూడా ఇంకో గుంపులా లేదు, కాని తారతమ్యం లేని విధంగా కలిసిపొయారు. ఈ స్టేషన్ అందరిని కలిపే ఒక సేథువులాగ ఉంది. అందరు ఎదో ఒక పనిలో నిమఙ్ఞమై ఉన్నారు. కొందరి మాటలు ఢిల్లి కోటను కుడా దాటేసాయి. మరి కొందరివి పక్కనున్న సేటును కూడ దాటలేకపొయాయి. ఒక అమ్మ, అమ్మాయి గొలలో పడి విలువైన వస్తువు ఇంతకు ముందరి ట్రైన్లో మర్చిపొయిన తన కొడుకు భాగోతం చెప్తుంది. అది వినడానికి, విని బాధపడడానికి కొడుకు అక్కడలేదు, బహుశ వేటలో ఉన్నాడు అనుకొంటా!! ఒక అయ్య తను కష్టపడి సంపాదించిన ట్రైన్ టిక్కెట్ కథను చెప్తున్నాడు, యువకులకు స్పూర్థి ఇవ్వాలని ఒక ఆశ కాబోలు!! ఒక యువకుల గుంపు నిన్న రాత్రి జరిగిన క్రికెట్ గురించి చర్చిస్తున్నారు, అది చర్చ మరియు వాదనల మధ్య కొట్టుమిట్టాడుతున్నట్టుంది. కొందరు మాత్రం ఇవేమి పట్టనట్టుగా పత్రిక చదువుతున్నరు, కొందరు ప్రకటనలు వింటున్నారు, పిల్లలు పరుగులు తీస్తున్నారు. మరి కొందరు ఖాళీగా కుర్చున్నారు, కాని వాళ్ళ కళ్ళలో ఎదో కనిపించని బాధ, ఎదో దాచుకోలేని వ్యధ, ఎవరో దోచుకున్నారు అన్న సొద వినిపిస్తుంది. వీరి కళ్ళకు రాబోయె ట్రైన్ పైన నమ్మకంలేదు, ఆశ లేదు, ఆతృత అస్సలు లేదు. వారికి ఈ ప్రపంచం అంతా మోసమే అనిపిస్తుంది. కాని గట్టిగా గొంతు విప్పి చెప్పలేని మాటలు నేర్చిన మూగవాళ్ళు. అలా ఆలోచిస్తు దూరంగ కనిపించే కొళాయి వైపు తిరిగాను. నేను ఇంకా బ్రతికే ఉన్నాను అన్నట్టుగ బొట్లు బొట్లుగా కారుతుంది కొళాయి, అ బొట్లను ఏరుకొని దాహాన్ని దాటలనుకొనే నా లాంటి వాళ్ళు నలభై మంది కనిపించారు ఆ కొళాయి ముందు. నాకు ఆశ సన్నగిల్లింది, దాహం బలపడింది, నీళ్ళ గోల గగ్గొలుపెట్టింది.

అలా ఆ గందరగోళం నుంచి ముందుకు కదిలాను. నా దాహం ఇంకా ఎక్కువయ్యింది. మెల్లిగా జన సందోహం సన్నగిల్లింది. మాటల సడి కాస్త వర్షం నుంచి జల్లులకు తగ్గింది. అక్కడ నడక చాలా సునయాసంగా ఉంది కాని కాళ్ళకే దూరం ఎక్కువ అనిపిస్తుంది. బాదరబంది లేదు. చుట్టూ జనాల గోల లేదు. చెట్టుకు అక్కడక్కడ కాసిన కాయాల లాగ, చిన్న చిన్న గుంపుల్లొ ఉన్నారు. ఒక గుంపు ఇంకో గుంపుతో కలుపుగోలుగా లేదు. అందరి కళ్ళలో మెరుపులు కనిపిస్తున్నాయి. ఎక్కడ అమావాస్య చీకట్ల ఛాయలు లేవు. అందరి మొహాలపైన చెరగని చిరునవ్వు వాడని పువ్వులాగ (ప్లాస్టిక్ పువ్వులాగ) వెలుగుతూ ఉంది. కాని అందరి చూపులో ఒక శోధన. ఎండమావిలో నీళ్ళకై వెతికే బాటసారి చూపులు అవి. అందరికి కనిపించే జ్యోతి వెలుగు వెనక కాలే వొత్తి రూపంలా ఉంది వాళ్ళ వేషం. రాబోయే ట్రైన్ కి సన్నాహాలు జోరుగ ఉన్నాయి. వీరికి ప్రతి ట్రైన్లో తమకై కేటాయించిన వసతులు ఉంటాయి. వీరి వసతులకు మిగత జనాల బెడద అసలే ఉండదు. అందుకే పొయిన ట్రైన్ రాబొయే ట్రైన్ మధ్య వీరికి పెద్దగ తేడా కనిపించదు. ఇలా ఆలోచనల మధ్య మల్లి దాహం నన్ను రెక్క పట్టి లాక్కొని వచ్చింది రైల్వే ప్లాట్ ఫారం పైకి. అక్కడ చూస్తే నీళ్ళు సీసాల్లొ అమ్ముతున్నారు. అవి కొనే తాహతు, సాహసం నా దాహానికి లేదు. అందులోను నా దాహం ఖరీదు కేవలం నా ప్రాణమే. నా ప్రాణం విలువ నేను నడుస్తున్న చొట చాలా చవక!!

అలాగే ముందుకు నడుస్తున్నా, నీళ్ళకై!! దోసిలిలో దాగిన నీళ్ళతో సేదతీరే నన్ను నేను చూసుకొవాలనే తపనతో. ప్లాట్ ఫారం చివరకు వచ్చేసాను అనుకొంటా, మెల్లిగా గుంపులు కూడ తగ్గిపొయాయి. ఆకాడక్కడ విసిరి పారేసినట్టుగ, విధి వెలి వేసినట్టుగా గట్టుకొకరు చెట్టుకొకరు కనిపించారు. వారి తలరాతలలాగే అతికి అతికని చిరిగిన బట్టలు, శివుడి ఝటాఝుటాలను మరిపించే చెదిరిన జుట్టు, సప్తఋషుల మాదిరి పొడవాటి నెరిసిన గడ్డం, ఆకలి మంటతో రెందు అంచులు కలిసిన కడుపు, ఆశల వలయంలో బూడిద తిన్న సాక్షిగా నల్లగ మెరుస్తున్న నాలిక, వారి కళ్ళలో మాత్రం కనిపించని కల, కాదు కాదు.. కనిపించే కలి. ఆ కళ్ళు మాత్రం నాకు అర్థం కావట్లేదు. ఒక కంటిలో బాధ, భయం, జాలి, దయ, క్రోధం, కోపం, ఆహం, ఆశ నిరాశ అన్ని కలగలిసి జీవితపు ఆకాశాన్ని తాకలనే కడలి అలలాగ ఎగిసిపడుతున్నాయి. ఇంకో కంటిలో ఇవేమి లేవు, కనిపించేది కేవలం శూన్యమే!! వారికి గమ్యం లేదు, కేవలం మజిలీలు మాత్రమే. వారికి ఉన్నదల్లా గగనం మాత్రమే, వారు నేర్చిందల్ల గమనం మాత్రమే. వారికి ట్రైన్ పైన ధ్యాసలేదు. వారికి జీవితం ఎక్కడైన ఒకటే. జీవితం ఎక్కదైన వారికి ఎండిన చెరువే.

అందుకే నీళ్ళు వెతికే ప్రయత్నం మానుకొన్నాను. కాని నా దాహం నన్ను వీడలేదు. నాలిక నాలుగు చుక్కల తడికి నలుదిక్కుల చూస్తుంది. ఇంతలో మైకులొ ఏదొ వినిపించింది. ఇక్కడ మైకులొ చెప్పేది బాగ వినిపిస్తుంది. మొదట దిగిన చోట, ఆ జనాల గోలలో అర్థం కాక, అందరితో పాటే మనం అనుకొని ఉన్నాను. ఆ తరువాత ఆ ఖరీదైన భాగంలో, వారికి అంతరాయం కలుగకుండా రాకపోకలను వివరించేవారున్నారు. నా లాంటి వాళ్ళు సమాచార లేమితో బ్రతకాలి అక్కడ. ఇకా ఈ చివరన, అందరికి అర్థం అయ్యేల బాగా వినిపిస్తుంది, కాని వినేవాళ్ళే కరువయ్యారు.

ఇక విషయానికి వస్తే, ఇంకాసేపట్లో నేను (మేము) ఎక్కాల్సిన ట్రైన్ రాబోతుంది. నా దాహం మాత్రం తీరలేదు. ఇక వేరే గత్యంతరం లేక, రాబొయె ట్రైన్లో నా "భవి"త నా దాహం తీరుస్తుందని ఆశతో ట్రైన్ వైపు కదిలాను. ఇంతకు మీకు ట్రైన్ పేరు చెప్పలేదు కదూ.. అదే, 2009!!

Genuine Illusion!!

As someone said, the media's the most powerful entity on earth. They have the power to make the innocent guilty and to make the guilty innocent, and that's power, because they control the minds of the masses. Media play a vital role especially in democracy. Media is the most dominant unit of democracy that keeps an eye on legislative, judicial, and executive powers and enlightens common people the practice of three powers, thus bridges the hiatus between people and power.

I have been watching the proceedings and developments in the case of acid attack on Swapnika and Praneetha. Few days back one of the news channels showed the footage that had a young man, who allegedly threw acid on Swapnika and Praneetha, lying on the ground along with two accomplices, drenched in blood. The wicked scene was shown with a horrific music in the background, as if it was a tragedy scene of a thriller movie. Later the same news channel broadcasted few interviews with some people who were all applauding the police efforts for their courageous act of wiping out of three anti-social elements. In a way media was depicting the police as heroes, who in fact took the law in their hands and killed violently the acid attackers who, as per police, allegedly tried to attack policemen with acid. The three attackers should definitely be punished; I am not condoning their uncivilized, barbarian act. But they should be punished as per judiciary system of India. My concern is the ignorance of media on the negligence by the police to act upon when victims lodged a complaint. The negligence is the cause which led to this unfortunate situation today. Instead, media was provoking common people by injecting the law of blood for blood, which unfortunately doesn’t abide by the democracy.

Couple of days back, I saw a footage that showed US President Bush who ducked to save himself from the shoes hurled by an Iraqi journalist. The journalist found a way to vent his anger and frustration by throwing his shoes at President with shouts of ‘This is a farewell kiss, you dog!!’ and ‘This is from the widows, the orphans and those who were killed in Iraq!”. Since then, this incident had been discussed as a lapse of security by analyzing the details of security personnel available at the time of incident and predicted possible attacks in the future on president and suggested few tips to avoid this kind of incidents from happening again. First of all, it wasn’t a lapse of security and no security check is available to study the intentions of a person, let alone his acts. Media should not just focus on the details from personnel to make sure if the journalists, who were present at the press conference, background were checked. The whole incident reflects the aggravation and dissatisfaction of an average Iraqi. Media wasn’t even worried to look at the incident in that aspect, and ‘un’surprisingly they presumed that Journalist was on wrong side. I agree that he was on the wrong side by throwing shoes at a President, but a light of investigation on his frustration and a study of his agony would have been better information. It would have meant that media had covered the incident in all aspects, refraining itself from a cluster biased minds. Instead, they had manufactured the news the way they wanted and made it disappear in just a day or two, which is very unlike of media.

Not only above said incidents, but also the repetition of news all day long would clearly test ones nerves on these news channels. They would like to talk about a dog show numerous times in a day rather than bringing the news of killings of poor, innocent Indian students in universities across US. I am talking about that particular incident here, not just because I am Indian, but also I believe that this piece of information has substantial meaning to it than some dog show.

Media is a powerful weapon in democracy, a weapon with which one can change the pulse of a nation, one can bring the light of awareness to dispel the darkness of ignorance, one can even turn a psycho into a sage and also more importantly this all can happen vice versa. As they say, with great power comes great responsibility, and here the responsibility is stupendous as they are dealing with the lives of people all over the world. Media should enable a common citizen to understand the working body moves, making each and every individual more responsible. Media should also facilitate government in making policies that are useful for general public and also be used as a checking function to make sure that elected representatives working towards their oaths and carry out the wishes of the people who elected them.

In a way, Media should be like a mirror that shows the actual face with ‘wrinkles’, which would definitely help this place to make more livable and more lovable.

Oraganized Chaos!!

And life has resumed, yet again, but this time it is quiet not the same way as it was before. This time, I found life filled with lively panic, reminding me each and every moment how lucky I am to be still breathing in this predicament of uncertainty. Yes, for the first time I am willing to admit explicitly that I am afraid; afraid of some faceless evil.

I got upset when I read about the bomb blasting that happened in Mumbai, Bangalore, Hyderabad, Delhi and many other places in India. But this time I couldn’t remain nonchalant looking at the mayhem created by some brain-washed thugs, called themselves martyrs. The intensity of the quandary kept a city, a Nation and even whole world in check for almost three days. Ten guys, who entered the Indian soil through sea route took over cities renowned hotels and kept innocent people as hostages and even killed some of them. Among ten, couple of guys were out on the streets of Mumbai shooting indiscriminately at civilians. The very sense of the news itself leaves one in shivers. At that time, I felt, even home was not the safest place on earth. Finally, it took 60 hrs of relentless effort by army and NSG to get situation under control, 60 hrs of struggle to bring the sanity back in bewildered minds. Some said, insanity took its toll before we got them down and some lauded the bravery and fight put on by soldiers in regaining Mumbai.

But my point is 'how many more incidents'? How much more blood we really have to loose before we feel safer again. How scary we have to be before we could walk down the street without looking one another suspiciously. All my questions may not have answers at this time. And some won’t have an answer forever. But central government should take corrective measures to prevent such incidents from happening over and over again. Then again, it would be too optimistic to expect them to be up and working towards the betterment. But the whole incident has one substantial outcome that is revelation of potholes present in governing body. It definitely reflected on the issue of negligence by bureaucracy, which was the only weapon that helped the terrorists to murder our freedom and faith.

Even after this massacre, one news paper said, resilient Mumbai back on track. I think resilient was not the correct word. It was compulsion that led Mumbaikars to get back on the local trains; it was obligation that pushed them to step back on the roads. Nobody has forgotten the face of the victims. I say, nobody should forget the price of normalcy.

I have been following the investigations on the Mumbai carnage. I have been watching the analysis of pundits over the reach of terrorism evil roots. I have been reading the assurance uttered by the politicians by increasing the security and keeping the airports on high alert. But nothing calmed my nerves as my father was getting ready to fly down to Delhi on a business trip. I insisted him to cancel the trip as there was news of possible hijack. But my father as serene as he ever was, explained the necessity of the trip and importance of being wise and non-cynical at these tumultuous times. He took the trip and came back home last night unruffled and safe.

But the point is the trauma that I experienced was colossal. One way the depth of the insecurity was inexplicable and at the same time my cowardice approach towards life was unappreciable. I believe the trick that cast by the terrorist totally worked on me, at least for a moment. I am glad I could comprehend sooner than later. What could have happened in the above said problem is totally a different issue, but the most crucial point is to stay sane and to remain defiant and don’t let our panic control us; don’t let our delusions drive us to death otherwise it would be difficult even to come out of home.

Life has to be resumed, but more sensibly and more rationally!!

అసమర్థుని జీవయాత్ర

అసమర్థుని జీవయాత్ర ఇలా అభినందించే అంతా ఆహ్లాదంగా ఉంటుంది అనుకొలేదు. అసమర్థుడి జీవితాన్ని అద్దంపట్టేల అభివర్ణించారు కవి త్రిపురనేని గోపించంద్. తన భావాలను, తన బాధలను కళ్ళకు కట్టినట్టుగ రాసే శక్తి కొందరికే ఉంటుంది, అందులో ఒకరు గోపిచంద్. ఆలోచనలతో, అనుభవాలతో ఒక వ్యక్తి చేసే పోరాటమే ఈ అసమర్థుని జీవయాత్ర.

కథలోకి వస్తే, కవి సృష్టించిన కథానాయకుడు (కథానాయకుడు అని పిలవడం ఎంత వరకు సమంజసమో తెలియదు) బ్రతుకు భారం మోయలేని, సంసార సాగరం ఈదలేని, సమాజంతో , సమాజంలో వేగలేని అసమర్థుడు. తన ఒటమికి నైతిక బాధ్యత వహించని నిస్సహయుడు. తన వైకల్యానికి సమాజ అఙ్ఞానికి మధ్య తేడాని గుర్తించలేని గుడ్డివాడు. అంధకారంలో అందాలను ఊహించే, వాస్తవికంలో వైరాగ్యం వ్యవహరించే అయోమయుడు. అన్నింటికి మించి తెలివైన పిచ్చ్చోడు. అన్ని తెలిసిన అమాయకుడు. మాయల ప్రపంచంలో మమకారాల శిశిరంలో ఆకువలే రాలిన అభాగ్యుడు. విశాల ప్రపంచంలో విరోధులే లేని జీవితంలో, జీవితానికే విరోధి అయిన అపరాధి. ఇలా ఇన్ని లేములతో కూరుకొన్న ఒక మనిషి జీవితాన్ని వర్ణిస్తూ రాసిన ఈ పుస్తకం నన్ను ఇలా కట్టిపారేస్తుందని అనుకొలేదు. బ్రతుకు ఛిద్రమై, బ్రతకడమే వ్యర్ధమై, బ్రతుకు కేవలం ఒక వ్యసనంలాగ మారిన ఒక వ్యక్తి జీవితం బురదలో దాగిన అందంలా తోచింది.

ఇది ఒక సగటు మనిషి ఆర్తనాదం, ఒక మధ్యతరగతి మహానుభావుడి గావుకేక, చావుకేక. ఈ పుస్తకం చదువుతున్నప్పుడు, చదివాక అలోచిస్తున్నప్పుడు నన్ను నేను అక్కడక్కడ చూసుకోగలిగాను. నేను చదివిన అమూల్యమైన వాటిలో ఇది ఒకటి. ఈ కథ ద్వారా నాయకుడికి ఒక కొత్త రూపాన్ని ఇచ్చి మూసధోరణికి స్వస్తి పలికారు గోపిచంద్. నిరాశను మాత్రమే వెల్లడిస్తుంది అని మొదట్లో ఈ పుస్తకానికి తగిన గుర్తింపు లభించలేదు. కాని, నిజానికి నిరాశకు తేడా తెలిసిన సమాజం ఈ పుస్తకాన్ని హృదయానికి హత్తుకోక ఉండలేకపొయింది, నా లాగే!!

నీడ చాటు జాడ!!

"దేనితొ కొలవను పోయినదాన్ని?" ఇంకో సారి అన్నాను,"పోగొట్టుకొన్న వస్తువు విలువ పోయాకే ఎందుకు తెలుస్తుంది?" అడిగాను తనను.

"పొయింది కనుకే విలువయినవి కొన్ని, స్వతహాగ విలువైనవి కొన్ని. దేని విలువ ఎంతో చేతిలో ఉన్నప్పుడే గ్రహించగలిగిన వాడు సమర్థుడు."

"అయితే నేను అసమర్థుడినా?" అడిగాను,"ఇన్నాళ్ళుగా నాలో నలుగురి గుర్తించిన సమర్థత వొట్టి బూటకమా? నలుగురు నాపై కురిపించిన ప్రశంసల జల్లు వొట్టి మాటల మూటలా?"

"నలుగురిని ఎందుకు నీ సమస్యలో లాగడం? నీలో నీకే సంధిగ్ధత? నా విలువ నాకే సరిగ్గ తెలియదని సంశయం!! విలువ అంటే ఎంటి? ఒక వస్తువు కాని, ఒక వ్యక్తి కాని నీ దృష్టిలో సంపాదించుకున్న చోటు. విలువ కేవలం నీకు ఒక వస్తువుపై ఏర్పడిన అభిప్రాయం. అభిప్రాయం మనుసుకు హత్తుకొంటే అభిమతం అవుతుంది, లేదా అసహ్యం అవుతుంది.నీకు ఇప్పుడు నచ్చినది ఇకముందు కుడా నచ్చ్చాలని లేదు. మార్పు సహజం. అభిప్రాయలు మార్పులకు అతీతం కాదు. ఎప్పటికి మారనివి ఆదర్శాలు. అభిప్రాయాల రాళ్ళ పైన అనుభవాల ఉలితో చెక్కిన శిల్పమే ఆదర్శం. నిలకడలేని అభిప్రాయాల ఫలితమే నిశ్చలమైన, నిక్కచ్చియైన ఆదర్శం"

"హుహ్..." అన్న నిట్తూర్పు తప్ప చెప్పడనికి ఏమి లేదు.

"ఇక నీ ఙ్ఞాపకాలు అంటావా, ఇవి కూడ కొన్నాళ్ళే. వస్తున్న శిశిరంలో వాడిపొయి, నీనుంచి విడిపొయి, రానున్న వసంతంలో కొత్త చిగురు తొడుగుతాయి"

అంటున్న నానీడ నవ్వుతో నేను శృతి కలిపుతూ అలాగే ముందుకు సాగాను.. వసంతం కోసం!!

Ta Ta!!

Rahul Dravid on Ganguly, "On the off side, first there is god, and then there is Sourav Ganguly."

On Kumble "The Muhammed Ali of Cricket"

Last couple of weeks brought curtails to two of the greatest cricketers of my era, Sourav Ganguly aka Dada and Anil Kumble aka Jumbo. Their services have been stupendous not only to Indian cricket but to world cricket itself.

Sourav Ganguly who made his mark with debut century at Lord’s inundated the world cricket with his immense hand eye coordination. He was the one of the best exquisite timers of cricket ball in the history. His habit of playing long innings and carrying the burden of responsibility was truly inspiring. The rate, at which he scored the runs, at one point, seemed like he would pass by Tendlya sooner but a lean patch followed by rift with coach cost him the place in Team India. But his habit of resurrection never got withered with the winds of criticism all over the world by cricket analysts. Even though he was pegged back by one and all for a year and half, he could able rise from the ashes strongly and this time, rejuvenated Dada meant more business than anytime before. He was literally at the highest point of his concentration; he was more sensible, serene and prudent in shot selection. Last two yrs of his career, he was the fulcrum of test team of India. He was undone by the onus, during Dravid’s lean patch, of carrying the team in tumultuous times.

However, Dada will be more remembered for his captaincy. His was a skillful leader. He took over the captaincy and groomed youngsters to be competitive cricketers. He was mentor for Yuvi, Zaheer, Bhajji, Sehwag and even Dhoni and many more. He backed them both in celebrations and chaos. Team India of 90’s and before then was known to be a soft, humble, unassuming and defensive. Since Dada took over the reigns, there has been a sea change in the approach of the players. Now the team is known for its commanding, imposing and never say die attitude and unyielding aggression. Since his time, India won more matches on foreign turfs. He himself alone changed the face of a nation in approaching a game. His mind games and on field attack were second to none. His gamesmanship had left best of the best in tatters. His captaincy days will remain as the golden era of Indian Cricket.

Anil Kumble, aka, Jumbo one of the finest cricketer history has ever seen. His leg break/medium pace bowling had flummoxed best players too. He had a look of, bespectacled, first bench studious guy when he first stepped into international arena. But looks proved to be deceptive as his bowling was a bundle of bewilderment. He has won more matches than anyone else for India. His flippers allowed him to bag those many number of wickets. He was too quick in the air and too gentle with the spin. His feat of grabbing all 10 wickets against Pakistan shows the volume of his strength. That was one special day not only for Kumble, but for all the cricket lovers. His potential often been questioned in regards to his performance outside the sub-continent. But his touring, to Australia in 2003-04 for Border-Gavaskar Trophy and triumphs over England and West Indies, had vindicated his ability.

His commitment to cricket/profession has been as sacred as water of river Ganges. His self-sacrificing approach to embrace the game and uplift the morale will allow him stand tall above par with his contemporary players. For more than a decade he had been one unsolved puzzle of lethal stealth for players all over the world. He truly deserves to be the third highest wicket taker of all time in Test Matches. Currently he is the leading wicket taker for India.

The two of the five giants had bidden adieu in the same series and good thing about their retirement is the timing. Both the players knew exactly when their timing was up and that is why both heroes left the arena with grace and bliss. This would be one denting blow to Indian cricket but instead of looking to fill the gap new comers should look to play to their ability.

Finally, the sight of Kumble bowling with a blow to his head, fourteen overs on trot with untiring determination against WI was one of the defining moments of selflessness and loyalty to work.

The scene of Dada waving his shirt on the balcony of Lord’s had changed the mind of Indian cricket follower forever and it remained as one of the most celebrated milestones of Indian cricket.

I am happy to have witnessed the heroics of Ganguly and Kumble. I wish them good luck in their retirement.

అదృశ్యరూపం!!

చిన్న త్వరగా లేరా!! అన్న పిలుపులాంటి అమ్మ అరుపుకి కళ్ళు తెరిచాను. ఇంకా ప్రయాణ బడలిక పోలేదు. ఇల్లు చేరుకొని 24 గంటలు అవుతున్నా, ఇంకా గాలిలో ఎగుర్తున్నట్టే ఉంది. ఈ ప్రయాణం అనుకొన్నది కాదు, ఊహించనిది కాదు. అపరాజిత అక్క, పెదనాన్న కూతురు, పెళ్ళి ఇలా హడావుడిగా అవుతుంది అనుకోలేదు. అపరాజిత, ఏ ముహూర్తానా పెదనాన్న ఆ పేరు పెట్టాడో కాని, సార్ధకనామధేయురాలు అనిపించింది, ఈ పెళ్ళి ముహూర్తానికి అందరిని ఒప్పించింది. నేను, అపరాజిత, నాకంటే నాలుగు నెలలు పెద్దది, చిన్నప్పటి నుంచి ఒకే క్లాసు, ఒకే స్కూలు. తను బాగా చదువుకొని డాక్టరు అయ్యింది. నేను ఒక మోస్తారుగా చదువుకొని ఇంజినీరు అయ్యాను. ఆ తరువాత, అందరిలాగే పై చదువులు అంటూ నేను పరదేశం వెళ్ళాను. తను బుద్ధిగా చదువుని ప్రేమించింది, తనను అరిహంత్ ప్రేమించాడు. అందరు తండ్రుల వలె పెదనాన్న మొదట్లో కాదన్నాడు, కాని అక్క కన్నీరు చూడలేక కాదనలేకపొయాడు. అంతస్తులు, అలవాట్లు వేరైనా అంగరంగ వైభవంగా కాకపొయిన, అందరికి అందుబాటులో ఉండేలా ఆలయంలో పెళ్ళి కి, అంగట్లో రిసెప్షన్ కి అన్ని తయారీలు చేసారు.

నాకు అరిహంత్ పరిచయం కాని తన చుట్టరికం గురించి పెద్దగా తెలియదు. అందులోను అమ్మే చెప్పే దుర్గ గురించి!! నిన్నటి నుంచి అమ్మ ఒక పది సార్లు చెప్పింది. దుర్గ, అరిహంత్ బాబాయి కూతురు, గుణవంతురాలు, దుర్గ బుద్ధిమంతురాలు, దుర్గ కుడా అమెరికాలో ఉంది అని. అరిహంత్ అంతే శత్రువలను అంతం చేసే వాడు, చాలా చక్కని పేరు, వినగానే నచ్చేస్తుంది, కాని దుర్గ, పేరు బాగా పాపులర్, కాని కొత్తదనం లేదు. పిచ్చి పలు రకాలు అంటారు, నాకు పేర్ల పిచ్చి. తన పేరు నన్ను బేజారు చేసింది అది కాక నిన్న ప్రయాణంలోని అమ్మాయి హుషారు ఇంకా నా మనసులో షికారు కొడుతూనే ఉంది.

ఈ అమెరికాలో అన్ని టైం ప్రకారం జరగాలి. ఎమర్జెన్సీ అంటే మనల్ని ఉతికి అరేస్తారు. నాకు ఈ పెళ్ళి విషయం కేవలం వారం రొజుల ముందే తెలిసింది. కాని అప్పు(అపరాజిత) పెళ్ళికి నేను వెళ్ళకపోవడం జరగని పని. అందుకే ఖరీదు ఆకాశాన్నంటుతున్న ఆనందంగా ఫ్లైట్ టికెట్టు కొనేసా!! ఆ నాలుగు రోజుల్లో అప్పుకు ఇష్టమైన కొన్ని వస్తువులు కొని, ప్రయాణానికి లగేజీ సిద్ధం చేసాను.

ఆఖరికి బయల్దేరు రోజు వచ్చింది. ఎయిర్ పోర్ట్లో చేయాల్సిన పనులు సవ్యంగానే ముగిసాయి. విమానమెక్కి నా సీట్లో కూర్చున్నాను. ఎప్పటిలాగే కిటికీ పక్కన సీటు. ఎప్పటిలాగే ఒక చేతిలో తిలక్ పుస్తకం ఇంకో చేతిలో Apple I-Pod. ఎప్పటిలాగే పక్క సీట్లో అమ్మాయి రావాలని నమ్మని దేవుణ్ణి కోరుకోవడం. ఎప్పటిలాగే ఒక ముసలాయన (పెద్దాయన అనలేక పొతున్న ఎందుకంటే విరక్తి భావం) వచ్చి కూర్చొవడం, ఎప్పటిలాగే దేవుడు లేదు అని నిర్ధారించుకొని పుస్తకం మూసి పాటలు వింటు కళ్ళు మూసుకోవడం, నన్ను నిరాశ పరచని నిద్ర నన్ను హత్తుకోవడం, వెంట వెంటనే జరగాయి.

హఠాత్తుగా తలపైన ఎవరో కొట్టినట్టు అనిపించింది. దెబ్బకు నిద్ర పారిపొయింది, I-Pod జారిపొయింది. చూస్తే ఒక హ్యాండ్ బ్యాగు. సారీ అంటు పట్టు చీర అంచులాంటి సన్నని గొంతు వినిపించింది, తలపైకెత్తాను. నాకు కలిగించిన అసౌకార్యానికి క్షమాపణతో పాటు అసౌకర్య భావం తన ముఖంలో చూపిస్తు ఒక అమ్మాయి. తన అసౌకర్య భావన కూడా నాలో తెలియని సంతోషాన్ని నింపింది. దేవుడు ఒకే వరంలో అన్ని కోరికలు తీర్చినట్టు అనిపించింది. అమ్మాయిని అడిగితే అందమైన అమ్మాయిని ఇచ్చాడు. వెంటనే 'it's OK' అంటూ జెంటిల్మెన్ వేషం కట్టాను, ఒక వైపు నొప్పి బాధ తిప్పలు పెడుతున్నా!!

(Picture Courtesy: Madhu Shree)

Eulogy and Ecstacy!!

Past 6 weeks have been considered as one of the brightest days in cricket history. Two giants of the world cricket put on a show that will remain as the best of the bests in coming years. The ploys were eye catching, bowling was breath taking, batting was mesmerizing and entire show was truly inspiring.

India had the confidence (having defeated Australia at Perth earlier this year) of the challenging the depleted Australia going into the series. The first test at Bangalore was a generic test (any test match that involves Australia). Australians dominated the test with their immense batting wealth but they lacked resources in bowling department which helped India to stand back on feet and manage a draw. The partnership between Bhajji and Zak in the first innings spoiled the notion of Australian victory. Second Test at Mohali will be remembered for very long time. It was one of the notable victories by India. They beat Australians in all departments. India displayed admiringly eloquent batting skills. It was more of a collective crafted effort than an individual feat. The pace bowlers duo bowled their heart out. In second innings, the delivery off Ishanth that breached Ponting’s defense will stand on par with the one bowled by Shane Warne that flummoxed Mike Gatting in 1993. Other than that there was a scintillating century from Ganguly, Dazzling show of vintage Tendlya and brave knock from Dhoni.

Third test at Delhi, which was named as the fortress of the Team India, lived up to the expectation in batting aspect but the bowling looked thin without the services of Bhajji and with injured Kumble, bowling definitely looked out of sorts. But the batting department was right on the money. Gambhir, best batsman of the series, along with wristy Laxman put on a show of class act. Gambhir’s dominance with the bat was insurmountable and his walking down the pitch to the pace attack was a bit annoying and disturbing to the pacers of Australia, which forced them to rely more on words than bowling artillery. Laxman was as crafty as he had always been. Looking him playing the strokes was as serene as the flow of river through the curvy mountains. Worn-out bowling display was matched by mended batting exhibit by Australians, they were equal to the task and they looked confident and seemed to have found a way to nullify the reverse swing off Indian bowlers. On the whole the last test by one of the cricket’s best, Anil Kumble ended in a tame draw.

Fourth and final test at Nagpur was a special one in so many ways, Ganguly’s last test match and Laxman’s 100th one and Australia had one last chance to take vengeance on a team that had been gifting them a mask of humiliation for a decade. India was touch weak with the absence of Gambhir and it was their first test in Post-Kumble era. Debutant Vijay, who was a nomad before this test, was named in the final squad and had been asked to face Lee and Co. With the luxury of Sehwag’s prepared impromptu onslaught, he slowly and cozily groomed into the shoes of strike rotator. One of the shining stars of the test was Tendlya’s much anticipated century. Without his century, it would have been an empty handed return from a free food give away. Indian batsmen continued their good form, pounding the runs but only difference was intermittent execution. Even with broken concentration, they could able to set a comparative first innings score. Australian seemed solid till the first half of the first innings but slowly surrendered to the 8-1 fielding strategy by Indians, a ploy which was criticized and at the same time left the analysts bemused. In the second innings when India were in doldrums, when Australia finally able to push the Indians backs to the wall, Ponting’s move to bring the part timers on to compensate slow over rate let the Team India off the hook and cost him the series and eventually threw him into fiasco as analysts prey on him questioning him to justify the ploy. One session of poised pondering could have brought the smiles back on the faces of Australians. But one wrong step buried them in the hole of utter ignominy.

There were many positives to take for India in this series. They played with absolute and attractive ridicule coupled with shrewd serenity. All the batsmen came out strong when team needed them to perform. Bowlers were on top and most of the time they made living tough for Australian batsmen. This series also brought curtail to two of the great cricketers of modern era. Filling those shoes would be a mountain to climb, but looking at the kinds of Vijay and Amit, it certainly seems possible to produce more match winners.

With the series over and with Australia remaining on the losing side, the obvious question has been raised, one more time, does this Australian Team still have the caliber to dominate world cricket as they had been, over the years?

I would say, they may not be as dominant as they were before, but they certainly are the toughest cricket team to beat any given day and beating them would take one special effort from Team itself.

Hazaar Chaurasi Ki MAA

Last weekend I watched Hazaar Chaurasi ki Maa. The movie was directed by Govind Nihalanai and it’s based on the novel Hazaar Chaurashir Maa by one of the best writers from India, MahaShwetha Devi.

The movie starts with Jaya Bachchan answering a phone call very early in the morning. The voice on the other side asks her to visit a morgue in near by town to identify a body which they think of her son’s. In fact it turns out to be her son’s and she grows perplexed as she realizes that police department wouldn’t let her to take the dead body of her son. The confusion takes the form of quest to find out the truth when rest of the family disowns her son’s identity and portray him as the obnoxious weed in the family who brought the pride to knees. The journey starts addressing many facets of her son which were never witnessed by Jaya Bachchan. The death of her son gives birth to too many questions that propel Jaya Bachchan to consider herself as one failure mother.

The main plot of the story deals with an exploration of mother about her son’s involvement in 1970 naxalbury agitation in West Bengal. The movie revolves around different characters with Jaya Bachchan being as fulcrum of the whole platform. A mother’s agony to find out some unknown facades of her son after death was stupendously picturized. When police search her son’s room and find out many pro-communist books and banners, Jaya Bachchan’s bewilderment is simply heart touching. She feels she knows each and every aspect of her son’s life but at the end she realizes that she never lit a corner in her son’s heart where he was hiding his thoughts and efforts in the darkness to bring light for others. But the very question that comes to her mind is why? Why did her son conceal a significant chapter of his life? Was she ignored? She sets out on an expedition to find out what and why exactly her son was hiding from her.

Jaya Bachchan did exceptionally good as Mother, Sudha Chattarjee. Nanditha Das steals the show as ever. Seema Biswaas is as good as any normal lower caste, poor and innocent yet knowledgeable house wife. The dialogues of the movie should get a special mention here. They really speak the pain of the character and explain the times and predicament of 1970’s turmoil unambiguously.

Writing a novel of such sensitive and sensible and yet bringing harsh reality of early days of Naxalbury with a thread of mother-son relation requires one special talent, one extraordinary person. But making a novel into a 2 ½ hrs movie needs more than astonishing skill. Govind Nihalani comes up with flying colors in his effort. He makes sure that he clearly elucidates each and every vital moments of the novel in 2 ½ hrs. His characters speak the dialogues which explain the trauma clearly and yet briefly.

A movie that is must watch to understand the pain of a mother of loosing her son, to understand the irreconcilable dilemma of a mother on desertion of her son by her family, society, and to understand the plight that one had gone through during the early days of Naxalbury. Of course, the whole movement has taken many twists and turns after that, but it is important to acknowledge its birth and history.

By the way, 1084 is number assigned to her son's deadbody.

Frozen Hell!!

Work should be a part of life. It should never take the driving seat. Work life shouldn’t force us to think if we really need put our heart and soul to fulfill our hunger and needs.

Working environment plays vital role in bringing the satisfaction quotient to our daily life. Lately, I have been feeling that I have been forced to go to work. When one gets up in the morning shouldn’t feel that one has been forced or conditioned to go to work. When one gets that feeling it’s hard to comply with oneself. In a smoother work life manager plays the crucial role. Having a good manager is a gift in disguise. Before we go any further, how do you define a Good Manager? In my view, a Good Manager is one who supports you in all your efforts in discharging your responsibilities, who puts his arm around your shoulder when your mind stuck in deep hole, who brings his experience to your rescue out of hole, who makes sure that work environment is more friendly than hostile, who seeds the plants of ideas and waters them as needed and who provides an opportunity for you to grow wiser and smarter. A manager should be more like a coach than a player. He should guide his employees/crew towards success but in the same he should get involve as and if the situation demands.

Like any other relation, manager and employee relation is relied greatly on the thread of trust. Manager should have to trust the abilities of his employee to certain extent. As someone said, a good judgment always comes from bad experience, in my view, an employee should have freedom to elucidate his ideas, he should have freedom to try and execute his ideas. Failures may or will arrive in the process, which isn’t uncommon, but a manager or a good manager supports him in dire situations and makes sure that employee learns a lesson from each and every failure and wouldn’t repeat that in future. But the freedom to be failure is the faith entrusted by the manager in his employee.

As someone said, ‘Without work, all life goes rotten. But when work is soulless, life stifles and dies’. When you get back home after work, if your mind is occupied with lingering thoughts of awful workday and when you get up in the morning feeling hostile to go back to work, I believe its time that you take some serious decisions. It’s better to rot in hell under a good mentor.

One more point, there are many ways to vent your emotion, like I find one here.. in writing!!

Gung-ho Cricket!!

The optimum way to describe the encounters between India and Australia would be ‘balanced insanity’. The ballyhoo surrounding this event has truly lived up to the expectations. It seems like we have already hit the zenith even though we are still have half of the voyage to cap off.

The second test of the series got the interest of all cricket minds all over the world. There is more than one reason to mark this test match. One of the major milestones of the test match was Sachin Tendulkar’s emergence as highest run getter in Test cricket History. He now holds the record for highest run getter, highest centuries in both test and ODIs. This record might have taken a test or two more than anticipated but the beauty of the achievement was the timing and it was up against his favorite opponents. He was expected to reach this point in the series against Sri Lanka, but thin form denied him of the milestone. Even after two decades of impeccable cricket, a mere presence of Tendulkar on field turns a billion people, atleast go crazy. I am honored to be in the era of Tendulkar. He has inspired a whole generation, if not more, and always let his bat talk. Nonetheless his high stature, few questions remain unanswered, some dents remain unsettled, and some spots remain under darkness.

Other than Tendulkar’s feat, Ganguly’s patient century in his last Test series worth writing here. Looking at his recent test record, one would realize that patience in approach had brought success for Ganguly. That is why as cricket analysts say, a cricketer performs better in his thirties. In the twilight zone, a player tends to bank more on his strength. He would prefer to adapt than being innovative, in other words one would realize his limits and play within his game.

Of all the things, team effort was the biggest factor in the victory over Australia. Probably after the golden era of Kapil Dev, we are again witnessing some quality bowling from Team India. Bowling had always been an Achilles heal for Team India, and that was the main reason for not securing many victories in spite of world class batsmen in the line up. Zaheer and Ishanth bowled their heart out. The encounter between Ishanth and Ponting would remain as one of the classic battles of the decade. Ishanth is one of the very few bowlers who troubled Ponting in this decade. He looks hopelessly uncomfortable at the delivery where the one that comes into him. Zaheer’s swing bowling was simply amazing. It took him years to come to understand his strengths. Kumble’s unavailability surely sent some tremors at the beginning of the test but the idea of including Amit Mishra in the final eleven had been vindicated undoubtedly, thanks to some wonderful orthodox leg spin bowling. The bowling performance surely had fired the efforts of Sehwag and Gambhir at the top. Being played for Delhi together definitely helped them to get gelled easily and very nicely. M S Dhoni’s credentials needs to be mentioned here. He seems to be carrying head over his shoulders. He is confident, aggressive and quiet at the same time, which is a seldom mix.

One point that has to be mentioned here is unending debate over dominance of Australia. A lot have been written and a lot have been said about coming to end of Australia dominance. I believe it would be preposterous to think that Australia lost the glitter of supremacy. I strongly feel that Australia knows the mantra to success better than anyone else. It is just that Team Australia lost some major players in the last one yearor so; it is just taking time to fill those shoes. Even in that aspect, it’s very easy to find replacements for Australia compare to any other team. We have seen the defeat of Australia every now and then in the last decade, but everytime it rejuvenated as a stronger and as an even better team. With this victory a lot of pressure is on both the teams. India have to continue their aggression filled orthodoxy to prove that the victory was not a flash in the pan and Australia have to regroup and perform better to hoist back their flag of dominance to dismiss the qualms.

Either case, the stage is set for exciting outing with full of gung-ho cricket.

Couldn’t ask for more!!

Baneful Birthday!!

I never thought wind could be as powerful as it was on Saturday (13th September, 2008) morning. Wind, air or gust whatever you name it surely had its presence felt and we were all hoping to breathe one more time with adequate air.

IKE, the hurricane was on its way to embrace us on Friday night. We had been informed to have everything prepared as Ike was threatening to take over Houston and surroundings. I was told to leave the work on Thursday afternoon itself and learned from the news that evacuation was very much on for southern Houston residents. Evacuation was lingering on my mind for quiet a bit of time, but eventually I decided to stay put. After watching repeated telecast of live hurricane updates umpteen number of times, decided to take a break Friday afternoon. My friends and I walked around apartment complex, just to see the curiosity of the people and get glimpses of the preparations. We even played cricket and cooked some tasty spicy Indian food.

Just to give an idea what we were anticipating at the night, IKE, at 600 miles across, was nearly as big as Texas itself. The storm surge that Ike would create was expected to reach 25ft tall at the coast. The wind speed was estimated to be around 110-125 MPH and Gust speed would be close to 140MPH. It's been a generation since Houston had seen a hurricane of this volume.

Alright back to my story, just when I was getting cozy, as a result of a call from one special person just before, who was excited to convey a message, the power went out. It was 1 AM in the early hrs of sat morning and wind was picking its speed. We lit the candle on and hoped for least possible damage. As we went out to learn the situation, the wind was picking its speed and the rain was pouring cats and dogs. We came back in and watched the clock as the noise of the silence vanished slowly. Wind picked its maximum speed and gusts were blowing hard and strong. The noise of the wind blowing and gust hitting hard on the walls was unfathomably scary. The sound brought me the reminiscence of a hag weeping her black magic tantrums out.

The wind had its own agenda. It would blow hard one moment and would remain quiet another. The intermittent occurrence made the predicament even worse as the noise was significantly perceivable. As wind blew, rain played its part by spraying all around the complex and drenched most of us even though we were standing in the closed corridor. This series of events continued till 7AM in the morning and left me sleepless all through the night.

As the hurricane IKE decided to degrade its intensity I went to bed but woke up sporadically with the noise of ‘hagesque’ IKE. And at around 10AM got a call from India, my dad was on the other side. He listened to the actions that happened, and he briefed about lethal bomb blasts took place in Delhi. It added fuel to my fear and left me cold and disheartened. It was out of the flying pan into the fire situation. I had been longing to listen to one melody.

As I was feeling dismayed, one voice brought me back to the life, and wished me, blessed me and cheered me up to the heights of Everest. I felt like a baby who saw the bright and beautiful world first time, cozily in his mother’s lap as it was my mom’s voice and she said, 'Happy Birthday’.

కుండ!!

నిన్నటి నిర్లిప్తత

నేటితో జరిగిన కథ

నిన్నటి నిస్సత్తువ

నేటితో ముగిసిన వ్యథ

నిన్నటి నిస్తేజం

నేటితో ఆగిన రోద

నిన్నటి నీరవం

కొయిలై కూసిన సొద

నేటి ఈ నిషాంతం

నీకళ్ళలో వెలిగే సదా

నిన్నటి నీరెండలో

మన కలయిక సుందరకాండ

నేడు నివహగగనంలో

రెపరెపలాడెను నా వలపుల జెండ

నేడు ఊహల వర్షంతో

నా మది ఒక నిండిన కుండ

Parzania

Parzania is a film based on true incidents. Those incidents that bring forth the question of questionable existence of civilization and humanity, incidents that irreparably dented the bond between two brothers of the family. Yes, the film depicts the inhuman, callous and merciless activities of communal jingoists in Gujarath during the communal or Godhra riots in the year of 2002.

The film is about a Parsi family, consisting of Husband, wife and a son and a daughter living happily. One fine day news arrives that 58 hindu ‘karasevaks’ were burnt alive in a train while returning from pilgrimage, by allegedly Muslim extremists. With in 24 hrs of that incident riots break up in Ahmedabad. Innocent men and women were dragged down to the streets and killed brutally. In the midst of horrendous acts, son disappears, who was mistaken for a Muslim, even though father, mother and daughter escape out.

As the riots calm down a bit the family begins the search for missed boy and in meantime they try to keep their sanity and frustration from being cut loose. In this mission helping them is Allan, an American, who is in Ahmedabad to do his research on Gandhi and his life, who is here to find the answers to his troubled life and find internal peace.

The film shows the way the riots were conducted and the brutality was executed. The film portrays the different ways that were used during the actual Godhra times. The attacks that were planned and performed during the day light and police were asked not to involve or interfere, and electricity and phone lines were dead and they even planted the saffron flags on the walls of some of the houses to differentiate Hindu families from Muslims.

Godhra riots which were carried out in retaliation to the burning of 58 karasevaks remain to be one of the darkest patches in the history of India. During which women of all ages, including pregnant women and children, were raped, gang raped, and their breast was cut and threw it around and they were put knives in their private parts and men were stripped and cut into pieces. The mob was showing its atrocious, wicked power on defenseless, middle class innocent people, who once felt safe to live in that place, in this society. But during that time, even the fields or woods were not safe. Almost 2000 Muslims were killed and approximately 100000 Muslims were moved out of Ahmedabad.

Gujarath, the land that gave Mahatma Gandhi, a symbol of peace, who taught non-violence, is now regarded as one of the deadliest places for one section of people, who own and belong to the land as much as the other sections.

The family who lost their son is still in search of him. I hope they find him soon and happiness shower on them soon.