Other day, I was chatting with one of my friends. She was quite curious to know about me and was asking different questions. After sometime, she asked me one strange question that startled me completely. She said, “You seem to be not happy with your life, are you happy with yourself?” I wanted to say ‘yes’, but somehow silence crept into me and I couldn’t get a single word out of my frozen thoughts.
Are you happy? How disgusting/demoralizing is that question!! It makes you think deeper and forces you to talk to yourself and look at your own reflection, which sometimes can be lot scarier than a poltergeist. That very question digs probing into who really I am? Do I know what exactly my role here, what exactly I am going to be? Do I really know where exactly I would land up in the future; at least do I have a plan where exactly I would like to land up? Before that, am I at the position where I intended to be? If not, what were my intensions? Did I have any back up, in case my intensions would not meet the target? There comes another question, having a back up, is it a strength or weakness? Does it show that I am under confident or I am intuitive? Wait a minute, I think I got diverted. Suddenly there comes another question, did I get diverted then or now?
I still don’t know the answer to that mind boggling question. Is there a correct answer to that question? Even to come up with a convincing answer, we first have to define ‘happiness’. What exactly is happiness? How do you define that? I believe it’s very subjective. It varies with the person and his choices. Slowly we are molding an answer to that question. Now I shall ask myself, if I am happy with the kind of life I am living here, my job, my car, my apartment, my social life, my family life, and more importantly my solitude. First three are discernible/apparent aspects. These are normal/typical aspects that are defined by the society (Society is just a mirror which would show your exterior evidences). The latter three facets are the most vital of the bunch which would decide your happiness.
As someone said, we are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves. We are too disguised to ourselves that we can’t be able to really recognize who we are. Believe me there are some instances where we would like to ignore even if we recognise ourselves.
At the end, all that my friend wants to know is the answer; I wonder if I really have to type that answer (which y’all must have sensed by now) after 5 mins.
Are you happy? How disgusting/demoralizing is that question!! It makes you think deeper and forces you to talk to yourself and look at your own reflection, which sometimes can be lot scarier than a poltergeist. That very question digs probing into who really I am? Do I know what exactly my role here, what exactly I am going to be? Do I really know where exactly I would land up in the future; at least do I have a plan where exactly I would like to land up? Before that, am I at the position where I intended to be? If not, what were my intensions? Did I have any back up, in case my intensions would not meet the target? There comes another question, having a back up, is it a strength or weakness? Does it show that I am under confident or I am intuitive? Wait a minute, I think I got diverted. Suddenly there comes another question, did I get diverted then or now?
I still don’t know the answer to that mind boggling question. Is there a correct answer to that question? Even to come up with a convincing answer, we first have to define ‘happiness’. What exactly is happiness? How do you define that? I believe it’s very subjective. It varies with the person and his choices. Slowly we are molding an answer to that question. Now I shall ask myself, if I am happy with the kind of life I am living here, my job, my car, my apartment, my social life, my family life, and more importantly my solitude. First three are discernible/apparent aspects. These are normal/typical aspects that are defined by the society (Society is just a mirror which would show your exterior evidences). The latter three facets are the most vital of the bunch which would decide your happiness.
As someone said, we are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves. We are too disguised to ourselves that we can’t be able to really recognize who we are. Believe me there are some instances where we would like to ignore even if we recognise ourselves.
At the end, all that my friend wants to know is the answer; I wonder if I really have to type that answer (which y’all must have sensed by now) after 5 mins.
