Retrospection - 2007

I don’t know how to start on my second half of the year. My second half was more eventful than my first half. It was like a happy ending in a bollywood movie.

July month was the beginning of all the fun and frolic. I was all excited and stoked with my scheduled trip to India in August. Believe me I was much more eager this time than my first visit, and this is all because it was not a regular visit. This time is was a purposeful visit, a ceremonious visit. It was my sister’s marriage. I think it was one of the precious moments of my life. I did all the shopping and bought the tickets and was waiting for my time to fly high.

The trip was fabulous. Journey was really smooth and slick. The event was tremendous. I lived in the event; I soaked fully in the tears of joy. It was heartening to see my sis in bridal ware. It wouldn’t have happened without the association of my brother. He worked hard to make this occasion memorable. Kudos to one and all.

Then came September, and I had to wake up from my dream of stay in India. Work was calling me. For the second time in the year, I had to fly back to rat hole. But this time with satisfaction filled eyes. I felt a kind of accomplishment this time. But deep down somewhere I was terrified with the fact of returning to isolated/quarantined myself and it resulted in taking me down for a week or so.

After this, in the following three months, I had reunions with my friend. One in North West, one is west coast and last one in central east. All these were a bundle of joy. I really cherished each and every moment of these GTs. I lived my life in each of them and waited for another one to come along, like waiting for sunrise to banish the darkness. It was enthralling to see some of my friends after years. Even though time gone by, our friendship is as strong as and as beautiful as wall of china.

This brings me to December. This month was supposed to be a month of happy holidays. I did have holidays, but the work load was overwhelming. I was completely occupied with the work and deadlines. And in the holidays I took trip of Charlotte. Stayed over there couple of days and got back home after Christmas. Stay was joyous and back journey was like an onus on me. I spent my holidays home all alone. My daily schedule was get up watch a movie eat and watch a movie and have dinner and watch a movie and sleep off. I spent my days mostly under roof, locked inside my apartment. I dint speak for two days. It was like living in an isolated island, but the truth is I am living right in the middle of the town, as one among the society. I am not blaming anyone but me. I am the reason for what I am today. I regret and love it. Anyhow this is me and my year 2007. It was neither a spectacular one nor a sordid one. It was jus like any other year.

Today is December, 31st. Ring of the mobile woke me up, and it was my mom. She woke me up to remind me of the date and remind me to keep myself safe. Moms are all like that. They just want their kid to be hale and healthy. And just like that my day started with all smiles. Believe me today is lot shinier even though sun was still sleeping and darkness was still reigning the central zone of US.

2K7 - A Retrospect

December, last month of the year, always brings smiles on many faces. It's the month to recollect the cherishable memories of the whole year and ponder some decisions that may or may not have affected our lives. It's about time to reflect on some of those events, incidents and predicaments.

This year has been an eventful one, in many ways, to me. I still remember moments of my stay at home on Jan 1st , 2007. It was a delightful welcome to New Year, with my family after so many years. Last time I spent my New Year day at home, with family, was in the year 1998. This time it was quiet an auspicious start to a new day, new year. Since that day I had enjoyed another a week of joyous stay at home before I made myself back to rathole (believe me, I had to), that is to US. I fell ill with the change in weather but more bothering turmoil was the reaction I received from people here, it was like rubbing salt into my wounds. So the month which started off with a peak ended up as a rough slide into a deep valley of fluster.

Feb was the month when I wanted to be in India. Of course, some dreams remain as dreams. Feb was the month of marriages; my good friends tied knots and jumped into a new phase life. A little disappointed for not being able to make it there, other than that, I am very happy for them. As a matter of fact, Feb. and March, both months truly belonged to marriages. They say spring brings hopeful attitude, but for them spring brought something more than hope. A new season, a new life, and blooming flowers greeted them warmly and prompted them into green stage of married life.

April was a regular one for me. Except for one blissful trip to Boston, nothing great to ponder on. Few of our friends got together at Groton, CT. We spent couple of days with ourselves and with our past lives. During that trip, I paid a visit to MIT and Harvard Universities. It was a memorable one. At last I could make it to MIT, somehow. Like always, time spent with my friends was surely heavenly. I feel these get togethers are like pit stops, where a car stops during a race for refueling, for new tires or for any repairs. And I believe we all essentially need these to keep ourselves alive in the race of life.

May was most sober month of this year. I dint go anywhere, spent my time with the work and work. The only positive is that I learnt few things about engineering, especially about steam and valves. Other than that, it was month of rest and relaxation. So was June. Nothing notable or great happened during these two months, except for some unusually interesting and undoubtedly understandable phone conversations. As a result of these unanticipated confabulations, I made few friends and I lost some much sooner than expected. After all, these phone services are not reliable ones. You never know when a bad/cross connection kicks in.

This is me in the first half of the year 2007. It was a fairly smooth ride, except for couple of bumps, but those hiccups were not big enough to put them on the paper (some were too big to put them on paper, better if I keep them to myself). But in all occasions and actions music (ArR's RDB) was there, constantly backing me up and keeping my spirits fresh and alive.

Thundery 'Thanxgiving'

This year my thanksgiving weekend was special. I took a trip over westcoast, that is to California. I have been longing to visit Calif since a long time. The visit bacame a special one with the participation of all my freinds.

It was a preplanned trip. We had been planning this since September and since then I was praying for a smooth trip all together. But luck backstabbed me and my plans jolted by weather and there by the delayed flights. By the time I reached LA it was 1AM in the morning (delayed by almost 5hrs), but the spirits were still strong and high. We were eager to confront one another, we were bursting to share some joy, we were agog to go wild and soak ourselves in the fountain of youth. Believe me, we lived upto the expectations, we kept ourselves awake, to see the rising sun, in the midst of interventions by cops and neighbors. Oh man, that was fun, silly fun.

The drive to Vegas was fabolous. Ofcourse nature was beautiful, the drive was smooth, weather was pleasant but the more pleasure was to see all of us picking on one another. That was spree of pulling legs. It definitely took me back to my college days. It was immensly satisfying to see the undying sarcasm of my freinds coupled with the maturity of riposting every comment wittily and funnily.

Stay at Vegas was fabolous. Everything was great about Vegas. Illuminating nights, Stunnig Casinos, long standing Stratosphere, gorgeous fountain show at Bellagio, 'never say die' attitude of people walking on the roads all night long, catching the glimpses of beauty flaunted by juvenile girls and the list goes on and on. I had all kinds of fun. I would love to write more about what I did at Vegas, but as they say 'What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas', I better keep my mouth shut (otherwise my friends would go gaga on me). I think it would be better if you visit Vegas and be a part of the fun rather than reading it in my scribbles. Anyway, it was an amazing experience. A three days of trip left a tremondous amount of memories to cherish. I believe, no matter where I go for a trip with my friends, I would enjoy to the fullest.

Till then everything was good, but the journey back to home was the worst one. My flight got delayed, and then had mechanical problems, and atlast got canceled.It took me more than a day to get back to Louisiana from Calif, poor me!! By the time I was home, I was tired, exhausted and depleted. But looking through the pictures of the trip, had envigorated me to script down the memories.

Nine Yrs to 'Nostalgia'

November 9th is one of the greatest days of my life. On this very day in 1998 I started the brightest chapter of my life. Yes, on this very day I stepped into the premises of College of Engineering, Osmania University for the first time, to amass everlasting memories, to collect perpetual reminiscences, to feed in unfading experiences of life time in four years of joyride.

I have been unreceptive for quiet a few days. I was low on confidence. My motivation had been on the thinner side. But looking at the date itself boosted me to write this up. I couldn’t control my urge to mention this special day on my blog. I still remember my first day at OU (Osmania University). I was thrilled, elated, excited and at the same time, tensed. It was a grand beginning to new life style. It was an exuberant instigation to a unique journey with full of highs and lows. I was rustic; I was naïve to that culture. I definitely took sometime to settle in. I believe we all did take sometime to come in terms with the conditions there, to get the grips of circumstances there. We were like newly bought, empty hard drives. We had lot of space to absorb, we had lot of room to learn, we had lot of freedom to fly high, to scream loud, to ride rough. We did all that, and much more. Attending classes, studying courses was like an extra curricular activity. We were always seen busy in unquestionably joyous deeds. Oh boy, how can one forget those countless trips from canteen to kinnera via main building, which has surely been the best route I have ever traveled. Of course, college days without girls, simply unimaginable. 10 minutes rendezvous would have generated at least an hour of debate in the evening while sipping the garam chai along with Osmania biscuits. Not only this, the moments when we all got drunk for every small stint, the moments when we shed tears at the loss of one of our dear friends, the moments when we all beat the hell out of invaders, the moments when we all zoomed in midnight ride for fruit juice, the moment when we all danced to eternal music on those colossal steps of main building, and the moment when I made most of my accidents and the list goes on and on.

I believe, the journey wasn’t a smooth one, there were some hiccups. It could be termed as safe flight with little turbulence here and there. We surely had some differences, which was quiet natural, considering our cultural and regional differences. But in the end, most of us have come out good and in fact as better persons. We learned so many things in those 4 years at OU, not only the subject, but also we all got cultured enough to gauge and stand against the different predicaments of life.

Well, I am blessed to be part of highly energetic group of my friends. Even after 5 years of engineering farewell, we are still going strong and slick. And real icing on cake is, few of us are having a reunion today. It will all be fun and frolic over the weekend. I am all excited and over the moon, who wouldn’t be??

Five Point Someone - Chetan Bhagat

“Five point someone”, this is the first novel in my life that I have read completely without any interruptions. FPS is penned down by Chetan Bhagath, a former IITan (IIT-Delhi), and incidentally FPS was his first attempt at writing. FPS is the story of three IIT students who found difficult to cope up with the hectic schedule of IIT and ended up falling into the zone of five point range GPA.

FPS starts with day one of IIT life of three friends, Alok, Hari and Ryan. They start their IIT career with a disaster and continue to build their heap of increasing declinations. Amazing thing is that they always back themselves up even though they are stuck deep in the mud of failures. It is not that they are dumb or dull in grasping the knowledge; they get carried away with unwarranted habits of teenage. They soak fullest in the stinky fountain of youth. IIT, the impression that we have on this institution would not reflect even a bit in the lives of these three young ruffians. It starts with the first day of their college life and ends on the day they all graduate from IIT. It talks about different kinds of transformation underwent by these three students, the classes, assignment, mugging, exams, cigarettes, boozing, movies and of course, girls.

The novel was an easy to read kind one, especially for people like me (I am not really into this novel reading). It was written in simple English and each chapter is short and sweet. Even though, it sounds interesting till the end, I am not really inclined with the way novel ended. The climax seems too cinematic. Looks like author wanted to end the novel on a happy note and he tried not to ruin the impression of IIT by showing the protagonists as failures. But the way the whole novel runs makes us to forget this as a small pebble in the grassy path of garden.

The only reason I have read this novel is the strong recommendation by a friend. The person strongly insisted that characters in the novel would remind me of my college days and I readily agree that now. It surely reminded me of my college days, not just in one instance or in one chapter, most of the time, through out the novel. That could be one of the reasons which made me to read the book in one try.

Alwidaa, Inzy...

12th Oct 2007, yet another memorable moment in the cricket world. Inzamam-Ul-Haq One of the greatest batsmen of my generation has bid adieu to cricket. Sixteen years of illustrious career came to an end in the midst of emotional breakdown from everybody all over the cricket world.

Inzamam a.k.a Inzy stormed into the cricketing world with a blistering, aggressive innings against New Zealand in the semi final of 1992 world cup. The young Inzy thumped bowlers all around the park bringing the team home out of dire situations and eventually added the jewel in the crown of glory in the form of world cup. Since then he stamped an unforgettable mark on the history of Pakistan cricket. He gave a new definition to middle order batting skills. His role was often rescuing the team from a disastrous crumble. Consolidation and construction were his pets. He pulled through the Pakistan from umpteen numbers of embarrassing predicaments. His innings to pull off the thrilling victory against Bangladesh with the aid of tail enders was an inspirational fight. Even though it sounds silly to praise his skills against Bangladesh, but given the conditions and his temperament and the dreadful patch he was going through at that time that could very be one of the brightest innings of his career. Other than that there are many more innings to talk about, his triple century against Kiwis, consecutive centuries against England, fighting half century against Ozs to bring team home, and more than couple of brilliant knocks against India, its just a mammoth list of sheer brilliance and vividness.

Like in any other field, his career also has ups and downs. But in all those circumstances, he was always nonchalant, obliged and of course witty. One of the real lows his career when he was dropped from the team after a terrible display in 2003 world cup but he bounced back strongly and proved his irremovable presence on the Pakistan cricket. The other low might be the early exit from 2007 world cup of pak. He couldn’t repair it though, but it remained as a small blemish amid the long, radiant, dazzling career.

On the whole, I was most fortunate to witness some immaculate batting displays by Inzy. He was with one of the best safe pair of hands in the slip cordon. Without him, it would be a Herculean task for Pakistan cricket board to fill those long, hard shoes. I hope he will have a peaceful and successful retirement life.

Alwidaa, Inzy…

Tracks to Perdition

My recent visit to India was exhilarating and entertaining and had flown by very fast. It was full of fun and frolics. As they say no fun is full without a tragedy. The tragedy was the demise of one of my cousins. She was too young to die. This one was a big hiccup to live with all through the wedding ceremony.

Ammulu, she was just 18 years old and had been married for four months (lets talk about early marriages in another writing). One fine morning she met with an unceremonious accident, a bright sun shine brought darkness in her life and eventually our lives. She had been living with her husband in Pune for two months, where she used to assist him in his business. On that day, they were waiting at the railway station to catch a train to get to work. They started to walk to aerobridge to get to the other side of the platform as they realized change in platform numbers. While in a hurry to catch the train she didn’t realize the speed of oncoming superfast train which passed by her creating a force which pushed her into the air making her to fly and a take a leap of 10-15Ft, before hitting the a pile of unused gravel. The moment she hit the rocks her head got split open and blood rushed out and she died on her way to hospital.

This is not new to railway department in India. On average, every year 4000 people die on the tracks of Mumbai railway only. These deaths comprise of suicides, homicides, accidents like electrocuted by overhead power lines or killed as they lean on one foot in a jam-packed carriage. Every day six million people commute on Mumbai railway and amazingly at peak hours they carry 550 people in each carriage of capacity 200. Getting back home in one piece is always a luck factor. People hang from the coaches or sit on the top of the roofs just to get to home. In the process, some people fall to death and some people dragged under the wheels from the platform in the tussle to get in. It’s like a struggle for existence everyday.

As I dug deep into details, I realized that railway department allocates a small percentage of its annual budget for these deaths on the tracks by spending money on the white blankets. Every station has a stock of white blankets to cover the corpse, but not to control the deaths. Instead what I suggest is, to form a small group of professionals to come up with a method with which can lower the number of deaths. Every problem has a solution, it just needs to be addressed and investigated thoroughly.

4000 people on average every year and on the top it just the number of deaths in Mumbai, imagine the number all over India. The number is almost equal to the deaths in WTC tragedy. And amazingly this is not the result of any terrorist attack.

Anyway, my cousin, who was innocent and young and who crossed the village border for first time had never come back in one piece. Like her, hundreds of the innocent/ignorant people travel across the city just to end up falling prey to these unremarkable lapses. The only remedy to these mishaps is when government comes up with a method with which a naïve can gain knowledge of these common, typical catastrophes. Of course this is all possible if we are ready to lend a helping hand.

Men with 'Blue-Ribbon'

India crowned T20 world cup, I still feel butterflies while reading that headline. Winning a world cup after 22 yrs and on the top beating Pakistan in the finals, it doesn’t get anything better than that. And believe me, they grabbed the cup without the services of three musketeers, Sachin, Dada and Dravid, who were the main pillars of Team India for the past 15 years, gooseberries again.

How did it all happen?? Before the start of the tournament India entered as Infants at T20. They just had played one match against SA and surprisingly they had to enter without big guns who pulled out themselves, which is the only way of keeping them out of the game. Hence the new captain, Dhoni, and he was leading a bunch of young guys who were hungry and roaring to go out and prove their potential, and to be honest they had nothing to loose even if they failed at their stint. For some reason South Africa, the venue, has always been lucky one for India. Even in 2003, we reached finals, thanks to Sachin, for his outstanding display of aggressive cricket.

Every victory was hard earned, they fought like warriors, they snatched the matches from the opposition, instead of tagging themselves victorious on the mercy of an error or whether, they displayed a characteristic/ an inspiring performance which left opposition in the helm of catastrophe. The commitment was always there right from the beginning but the momentum stepped in when Yuvi smacked the six sixes in an over. He single handedly took India home and from there he never really looked back. The innings against Aus was the best from Yuvi. India beating Ozs in semis, I don’t have to booze, I am on high. Just for the record, this victory was a long waited one, Last time India beat Ozs was back in early 2004, it has almost been four yrs, what a way to break that timeline.

The real big match was final against, Pak. Wow, doesn’t get anything better than this, its huge. I believe, it took 22 yrs for two subcontinent teams to reach into the finals of world cup at the same time. Believe me, I never thought, I would see this type of contest, I mean India playing against Pak, in world cup final. As expected the match was an absolute cracker. It went down the wire and in the end it was India who held their nerves, and Pak missed the target just by a kitten’s whisker. The show they put on was an absolute humdinger. After almost 10 years we had a chance to witness the true finals.

On the whole T20 is a big hit; sponsors must have been on cloud nine. With this victory, whole subcontinent will jump into cricket fever again. Other than that, it was really stunning at first and then thrilling to watch these young and energetic Team India beating teams black and blue. Their batting was eye-catching, their bowling was surprising and fielding was electrifying. To sum it up, this future team looks completely promising. It’s high time for big guns to think future of Team India.

Off to SWADES..

I am extremely happy these days, as I will be visiting home soon. This time it will be a special visit, and the occasion is one of the biggest in my life, my sister’s wedding. I have been looking forward to this moment for a very long time.

Weddings are always pleasurable, especially if it is your siblings, you can’t express the bliss you undergo. Commonly, they say, one wedding would make way to another and, luckily, I am already in line. It’s really touching to learn that I would see my sister in bridal ensemble. Sometimes I feel it’s too early, may be, as we have been living together for these many years, the attachment drives me to consider her as a kid. I am sure emotions will be at peak when the bidaayi time comes. Even now, my eyes are getting wet. This is the toughest moment in a family. We know that this moment is on the cards, but still never care about it till we get to that very moment. And I feel, in these things women are stronger than men. Women are mentally more stable than men. They can live thru any trauma. They might be weaker physically but certainly men won’t stand any where close to women in mental maturity. I know it’s hard to digest the fact guys, but let’s digest that fact to reduce the difference in maturity. I am sure we can have an unending debate on this topic, as I had some in the past, but all will prove ineffective/futile in real life.

It’s very hard to learn the fact that a woman would have to enter a new family and start all together with new people with different perspectives, leaving behind the family with whom she lived all her life, and just carrying the memories, memories of affection. Whatever enjoy and whatever fun she had with her family will now be ripped into a small piece of footage in her mind. She just has to play it again and again, till she get to a point where she starts copying the new stuff. But that transition is not as easy as I am writing here. To live with this ordeal and still be capable of bringing smile on face, hiding tears is a Herculean task.

Anyway, I am all excited for the big occasion and hope my sister’s life will be filled with all the joy and fun in coming years.

Meanwhile, I would be on hunt for a girl, who has brains enough for two.

ill-FATEd

Look at the irony, a fortune deficient fortune teller is sitting on the footpath of Bangalore road who thinks, can read the fate of others; in fact she herself needs help in learning the harsh reality of her own fate, a fate that is full of unsympathetic and unpleasantful predicaments caused by many unwanted elements of society which can not be read or seen in the cards.

I believe, she could be a victim of either ignorance or negligence.

(Photo Courtesy Sandeep K.Siddamsetty)

అందమైన అబద్ధం

మళ్ళీ దేశం వెళుతున్నందుకు చాల సంతోషంగ ఉంది. చాలా రోజుల తరువాత మళ్ళీ ఆనందం వెల్లి విరిసింది. ఒక ఖైదిని బెయిలు పైన కొన్నాళ్ళు విడుదల చేసినంత ఆనందం. ఇదంతా తాత్కాలికమే అని తెలిసిన, తెలియనట్టుగానే ఆనందపడుతున్నాను. కొన్ని నిజాలు తెలియకపోతేనే మంచిది.

నేను 8 నేలల క్రితమే దేశం వెళ్ళాను. కాని ఈ 8 నెలలు చాల క్లిష్టంగా గడిచాయి. మనసులో నిండిన ఙ్ఞాపకాలు మోయలేనంత బరువయ్యాయి. నాలో ఉత్సాహాన్ని నింపే ఙ్ఞాపకాలు నన్ను పీఢకలలా వేధించాయి. మర్చిపొవాలంటే భయం, గుర్తుతెచ్చుకొవాలంటే భయం. ఇక వేరే దారిలేక నాఫోను పైన భారం వేయాల్సి వచ్చింది. నేను ఇంటికి రెండు గంటల దూరంలొ ఉన్న నాలుగేళ్ళలో కూడ మాట్లాడనంత సేపు గత 8 నెలలలో మాట్లాడాను. ఒక గొప్ప వ్యక్తి అన్నట్టుగా దూరం అంటే సాగదీసిన సాన్నిహిత్యమే. కాని దూరం అవుతే తప్ప తెలుసుకోలేని విలువకు నిజంగా విలువ ఉందా? అల తెలుసుకొన్న విలువకు వెల కట్టెదెలా? పోని ఈ దూరానికి కారణం ఆ విలువకు సరితూగగలదా? నా దృష్టిలో మాత్రం ముమ్మాటికి కాదు, సరితూగలేదు.

ఇక్కడ అత్యంత బాధకరమైన విషయం ఎంటంటే నిజాలు తెలిసి నిమ్మకు నీరెత్తినట్టు బ్రతుకుతున్నాను. నెమ్మదిగ నన్ను నేను మోసం చేసుకొవడానికి ప్రయత్నం చేస్తూనే ఉన్నాను. అప్పుడప్పుడు నాలోని నేను నన్ను నిలదీసి అడుగుదామనుకొంటే, నాకు తెలియక నేనే నా నుంచి కనుమరుగువుతున్నాను. ఇంతకు ముందు అన్నట్టు కొన్ని నిజాలు తెలియనట్టు ఉంటెనే ఆనందం. ఇంక ఎన్నాళ్ళు ఇలా? ఎమో, అది తెలిస్తే, ఇంత బాధ ఉండకపొయేది. ఇప్పుడు తెలిసిందల్లా, నా దేశ ప్రయాణం. అది ఎన్నాళ్ళు అని అలోచించక, ఆనందానికి అవధులు లేవనుకొని గడపాలన్నదే నా ఆశ.

కల

ఎకాంతపు కొలనులో ఒంటరిగ ఉన్న పువ్వును నేను

అలలు సృష్టించగ వచ్చిన గాలివి నువ్వు

రెక్కలు తెగిన వికారి తొడిమిలాగ మిగిలాను నేను

అలను సృష్టించి కలలాగ కనుమరుగయ్యావు నువ్వు.

చీకటిలో నడి రాతిరిలో నీ జతకై నేను

మెరుపులు మెరుస్తు వెలుగులు చిమ్ముతు ఆరని జ్యోతిలా నువ్వు

వెన్నెలవై వెలుగునిస్తావని, వేల్పువవుతావని నమ్మాను నేను

వర్షమై, వరదవై కన్నీళ్ళు మిగిల్చావు నువ్వు

కలల లోకంలో నేను

కలల లొకమే నువ్వు

కన్నీళ్ళు కార్చింది నేను

కన్నీళ్ళలో కరిగింది నువ్వు

ANKUR..

Ankur, the title itself makes you think deeply. Ankur is a Sanskrit word, which means Seedling or a new beginning and the movie depicts the same. The plot of the movie is a true story happened in one of the rural areas of Andhra Pradesh state. The way it has been portrayed on the silver screen is really commendable. The notable thing is, this movie was the first venture of Shyam Benegal, a director who showed the new angle in the film making and went on to give us some memorable films. The irony is this one was also the first movie of Shabana Azmi, who probably is one of the greatest performers of Indian Film Industry.

The stroy of the movie goes like this..

Surya (Anant Nag), the college-going son of a well-to-do farmer is forced into giving up his studies in order to look after the family property. He is married against his will to a young girl, Saryu (Priya Tendulkar), who would join him when she attains puberty. Bored and lonely in his farmhouse, Surya finds himself attracted to his maidservant Lakshmi (Shabana Azmi), wife of a poor deaf-mute potter Kishtaya (Sadhu Meher) but she spurns his advances. Kishtaya is caught stealing Toddy and is punished. Humiliated, he runs away from the village. Lakshmi, now destitute gives in to Surya who promises to look after her. Their brief idyllic association ends with the arrival of Saru who senses their past relationship and dismisses Lakshmi. Lakshmi, who is now pregnant, wakes up one morning to find Kishtaya beside her, giving her the money he has earned in his absence. Lakshmi breaks down but is reassured when he appears pleased at her approaching motherhood thinking the child to be his. Kishtaya goes to Surya asking for work and to tell him the good news. In a frenzy of conflicting emotions and fearing exposure, Surya beats him mercilessly. Lakshmi rushes to her husband's rescue and hurls a torrent of insults and curses at Surya. Surya cowers at his own pain and prevarication, coming to terms with his circumscribed life.

Every actor in the movie lived their roles. Probably this one is Shabana Azmi’s one of the greatest performances, and at the end you just remember her as servant maid Lakshmi (but not as Shabana) who is destitute yet defensive, remorseful yet rebellious if someone harms her love, her life and her self respect. The best scene of the movie comes in the very last frame, when a small boy throws a stone at the window of Landlord house. The personification of revolution, the personification of fall of a boulder is praiseworthy. Even the powerful, dominant landlord becomes cowardice when a small boy turns his back and ignites the flames of revolution by throwing a stone at landlord’s window and all this time landlord hides himself behind the closed doors weeping at the fall of a boulder, a boulder of unquestioning tyranny.

Even though this movie was made in 70’s, I feel it still fits to the current situations of the society. Slavery and oppression are still a part of the society in some places of independent India. The only change is, people stopped making these kind of movies, which is unwanted and unworthy and unyielding.

(for more info, click http://www.upperstall.com/films/ankur.html)

Procrastination.

Some days are lucky, and some days are like a ride over Atlantic with lot of turbulence in the air. Right when you are enjoying the picturesque blue water of ocean, you hear the announcement over PA about the presence of turbulence. The very moment of luxury becomes a frightening comfort. In the above case you can hardly find a solution to nullify the nature’s act. But there are some circumstances where we can definitely avoid some uneventful moments, but there lies our laziness which constantly backs us up in letting us down and throwing us into unwanted doldrums.

That day I was driving to DMV (dept of Motor Vehicle) to renew my driving license as its expiration was due in one more day. I knew when it would expire, but I waited till the penultimate day to move the things forward. The drive was fine and I parked the car in the lot and just when I was about to get out of the car, I saw a cop standing right at the back of my car with lights flashing on his car. I was perplexed, as I drove obeying the traffic rules. He came up to me and asked for driver’s license and registration, explaining the problem as the expiration of number plate. I was unaware of that. He asked me if I had received any notice from the DMV regarding the renewal of number plate. I said ‘NO’, but deep down I was yelling at myself on my ignorance at the mail from DMV, which I had been avoiding as an error from DMV. Then he glanced my driver’s license and reminded me the expiration date of it. I told him I was there to take care of renewal of license. In the meanwhile cop tried to get a peek on state inspection tag, and he couldn’t believe what he saw. Believe me I was embarrassed to the core. My inspection tag was also expired and expired long back, a year before, to be exact. I am sure that cop was surprised at my freedom with which I had been driving all this time, all over the places. He had no words of sympathy. I had no excuses, and even I stopped to thinking of excuses. I knew there was no escape out. I knew this day would come, but I was always carried by my sluggishness, negligence. The cop, who got tired of my listlessness, issued a citation and reiterated the deadline quite a few times. After that grueling session with cop, I rushed into DMV as it was at the verge of closing. I hurried to the counter and submitted the license and much to my disappointment, I was asked to pay the renewal fee in cash, which I was unaware of, again, and it was exasperating to hear SORRY from the person behind the counter. It was like rubbing salts on my wounds. I was confounded, distressed. Just then I felt I learned lesson of being lazy.

Today, I paid the fine, cleared the ticket. It needed a big check to flush the negligence. And again, I thought, I learned the lesson, but not really, coz I paid the ticket, as I had to pay it today, as it was the last day before I get summoned from court.

(I know, couple of my friends will be furious to learn this fact, but believe me, I am trying my best to get out of this trauma. It is not a habit, it is just a result of lack of motivation.)

Rich Povery

The recent survey by planning commission shows that, in 2004-2005, 27.5% of the population of India are living under the poverty line, which is which is significant development considering to the number of 36% in 1993-1994. According to the numbers, one out of every four persons is poor. How did they come to this conclusion? What exactly is Poverty line? What's the basis for the calculation? Let’s try digging into the details.

The Poverty threshold, or Poverty line, is the minimum level of income deemed necessary to achieve an adequate standard of living, which includes food, shelter, clothes, education, medical, vacation and savings. The definition of the poverty line by National Sample Survey organization (NSSO) is quiet different, in fact unbelievable (or should I say disbelievable). The official estimates of the poverty line are based on calorie norm of 2400 per capita per day for rural areas and 2100 per capita per day for urban areas. The poverty line is decided on the basis of the amount of food consumed by a person every day (per Capita per Diem), I mean just on the basis of food.

In the '70s, when our governments first began using this definition, the monthly cost of the "basket of food" required to supply the stated nutritional levels was calculated to be Rs 62 in rural areas, and Rs 71 in urban areas. With inflation, those numbers rose to Rs 328 and Rs 454 respectively, by the year 2000. Considering the inflation, in 2004, if you lived in an Indian city and you earned more than Rs 540 a month, you were considered above the poverty level. Remember again that, this figure is the estimated cost of that basket of food on which you spend all your money. We are not talking here about the money required to spend on shelter, clothing, transport and other amenities. So what we are saying is that if your total earnings amounted to more than Rs 540 a month, you were not considered poor. /*We are saying that if you earned, let's say, Rs 600 a month, out of which you paid Rs 540 for food, you were not considered poor. */ And it is by this calculation that we estimate that 26 per cent of India is below the poverty line; that we are pleased that that number has declined from 36 to 26.

But World Bank's definition of poverty line, for underdeveloped countries like India, is US$ 1 per day, per person in other words, $365/year/person, which is more than double the poverty line defined by Government of India.

My concern is not about the amount or the numbers. The disheartening thing is the fact that the Govt of India is hiding the numbers to fit the country in the developing curve. Unfortunately, the truth is far behind the projection or presentation. We are jumbling the numbers to hide our poverty, our scarcity, our deficiency. What are we going to fetch with this false impression of development? Why is the government forcing the people to live in delusional growth? I believe the very definition of poverty line by Govt of India should be changed to a meaningful one. The definition should take into account, all the expenses of adequate living requirements rather than just a basket of food which can sustain mere survival but not a decent livelihood. The rich future of India can be achieved only when we acknowledge and understand our poverty level and strive to get out of the cobweb of dearth.

(For more info, http://www.indiatogether.org/2006/mar/ddz-povline.htm)

నిరీక్షణ..

చీకటి ముసిరిన నా కళ్ళకు నిన్ను చూడాలని

మూగబోయిన నా గొంతుకు నీ పేరు పలకాలని

చచ్చుబడ్డ నా కాళ్ళకు నీ నీడ వైపు నడవాలని

స్థంభించిన నా ఎదలయలో నీ రూపం కొలువవ్వాలని

అలలవంటి నా కలలకు నీ కన్నులు తీరం అవ్వాలని

నిస్తేజమైన నాకు నీ ఊపిరి ఉషస్సు నింపాలని

నిరాశ నిండిన నాకు నిశాంత సమయములో

నవ్వుల నీరజనాలు పలికే నీ కొసమే

నా నిరీక్షణ...

Katha

Last weekend I watched the movie called Katha, made in early 80s, directed by Sai Paranjpe. The star cast was slim but astounding, Naseeruddin Shah, Farooq Shekh and Deepti Naval. The main plot of the movie is so simple and is narrated in the simplest way possible.

Rajaram (Nasseruddin Shah) is middle class clerk living in Chawl, Bombay (Chawl is a housing complex like today’s apartments, where 10-15 different families live at one place.). He is secretly in love with the girl next door Sandhya (Deepti Naval). Rajaram is a real honest guy who is always ready to be helpful to others at any given situation. One day his old friend Bashudev (Farooq Sheikh), who gave up the schooling abruptly and ran away to Delhi, visits him. Bashudev is pretentious and cunning. He is a smooth talker and a con man, who doesn’t have any qualms even stealing from his own friend. With his mastery, conceited skills he impresses one and everyone at chawl. Sandhya and her parents get dazzled with the ostentatious Bashu and which leaves Rajaram heart broken. Bashu escapes the premises right on the morning of the wedding day deserting Sandhya as he has no more moves left to play with. Devastated at the situation, Rajaram offers his concern and asks Sandhya to marry him. Sandhya even though delighted at his offer, she reveals that she had been very intimate with Bashu. Will Rajaram accepts the Sandhya or not, remains to be seen on the screen.

This movie is inspired from the classical story of Hair (Farooq) and Tortoise (Nasseruddin). The presentation is simple and effortless. Protagonists played their roles perfectly. Amazing thing is, the actual chawl residents played their same roles in the movie. The movie doesn’t have any gimmicks or any adulterated jokes. It is just a plain uncomplicated, straight forward movie.

Silsila..

Yeh Kaha aagaye hum, one of the best romantic songs ever. Truly it creates vibes of exberance in me. Added silver lining is the voice of Amitabh bachcan. The voice sets the mood of the song. One can sense the emotion and passion for love in that voice. This was from the movie Silsila, One of the hit films in 1980’s, which had lot of resemblance to real life of Amitabh Bachchan.

Tanhayee(solitude) is not always the best feeling one can ever experience but it definitley helps in realizing many realities and the importance of things in life. You have space to think, space to dream, space to learn and of course lot of space to write. Here the poet writes how it would have been if she (his lover) had been with him.. Well, that’s a quite an imagination. He elucidates the picturesque of tryst eloquently.
Sometimes expectations can be really high, larger than life itself.

--MALE--
Main aur meri tanhaai aksar yeh baatein karte hain
Tum hoti to kaisa hota, tum yeh kehti, tum voh kehti
Tum is baat pe hairaan hoti, tum us baat pe kitni hansti
Tum hoti to aisa hota, tum hoti to vaisa hota
Main aur meri tanhaai aksar yeh baatein karte hain

--FEMALE--
Yeh kahan aa gaye hum
Yunhi saath saath chalte
Teri baahon mein hai jaanam
Mere jism-o-jaan pighalte
Yeh kahan aa gaye hum
Yunhi saath saath chalte

--MALE--
Yeh raat hai, yeh tumhaari zulfein khuli hui hai
Hai chaandni ya tumhaari nazrein se meri raatein dhuli hui hai
Yeh chaand hai ya tumhaara kangan
Sitaarein hai ya tumhaara aanchal
Hawa ka jhonka hai ya tumhaare badan ki khushboo
Yeh pattiyon ki hai sarsaraahat ke tumne chupke se kuch kaha hai
Yeh sochta hoon main kab se gumsum
Ke jab ki mujhko bhi yeh khabar hai
Ke tum nahin ho, kahin nahin ho
Magar yeh dil hai ke keh raha hai
Ke tum yahin ho, yahin kahin ho

--FEMALE--
O, tu badan hai main hoon chhaaya
Tu na ho to main kahan hoon
Mujhe pyaar karne waale
Tu jahan hai main vahan hoon
Hamein milna hi tha hamdam
Issi raah pe nikalte
Yeh kahan aa gaye hum
Yunhi saath saath chalte
Mm, meri saans saans maheke
Koi bheena bheena chandan
Tera pyaar chaandni hai
Mera dil hai jaise aangan
Koi aur bhi mulaayam
Meri shaam dhalte dhalte
Yeh kahan aa gaye hum
Yunhi saath saath chalte

--MALE--
Majboor yeh haalaat, idhar bhi hai udhar bhi
Tanhaai ki ek raat, idhar bhi hai udhar bhi
Kehne ko bahut kuch hai, magar kisse kahe hum
Kab tak yunhi khaamosh rahe aur sahe hum
Dil kehta hai duniya ki har ek rasm utha de
Deevaar jo hum dono mein hai, aaj gira de
Kyoon dil mein sulagte rahe, logon ko bata de
Haan humko mohabbat hai, mohabbat hai, mohabbat
Ab dil mein yehi baat, idhar bhi hai udhar bhi

--FEMALE--
Yeh kahan aa gaye hum
Yunhi saath saath chalte
Yeh kahan aa gaye hum

Accurate Stereotype.

Mumbai, commercial capital of India. Personally I have never been there, but I heard it as the city that never sleeps. Largest city in India with population over 13million, and longitudinally stretches over 75KM. Over 6 million people commute everyday on Mumbai railway system, amazing figures. But what more amazing is the journey of Mumbai dabbawala to reach 200,000 hungry recepients without fail, everyday.

Dabbawalas, deliver the lunch box everyday to different people working at different locations of widespread Mumbai. Mumbai trains are too crowded to carry a lunchbox. One needs two hands to keep himself standing straight. It would be a herculean task to carry a bag or lunch box in the midst of humongous group. Dabbawalas deliver the lunchbox everyday before lunch without fail. They start collecting the boxes early in the morning from the recepient's house and begin their journey from one station, and during the journey they sort out the boxes according to the destiny and travel almost 40-50 kms to deliver the boxes at the office without jumbling them. They even collect the boxes at the office after lunch and then deliver back at the respective houses. Even though it looks simple on paper, but when it comes to the figures, its no less work than swimming a sea. They deliver to almost 200,000 customers everyday, and amazing fact is there is only one failure in every 6 million deliveries, incredible. This delivery work dates back more than century now. Most of the crew are third generation workers. They all wear Gandhi Topi, which allows them to be easily recognised in the crowd. For this dyzantine labor they charge mere Rs.300 per lunch box, very less if you compare to the expenses of eating out everyday. Every member of the crew is responsible for 40 boxes everyday. They share the total amount equally among themselves. The committee has four Dharmasatras at different Pilgrim locations of Maharashtra, to provide shelter to visitors. One more thing, they eat only after delivering the boxes to the customers, customer comes first.

I couldn't believe myself when I first learn about them. Even the modern manufacturing methods have more failures than Dabbawalas. They are unique. They don't have preplanned methods to follow, they dont have defined theories to implement. It is all man made plot and even runs on mere man power. This simply proves that any given day, man power can beat any modern computer technology. This Dabbawals mission should be an inspiration to any organisation in the world of entrepreneurship.

Dreaming a Nightmare

I always had this dream. I wanted to see the name of my village in the front page of newspaper. My village is a rudiment area. Its one of those villages which is running against time or nature, without any changes over the past 25 years(as far as I know). My dream has come true today, of course not the way I intended to, but as a worst nightmare of my life.

As always, I opened EENADU website and to my surprise(it shouldnt be a surprise though) first news was brutal one. I clicked the link and read through the news. The news was about an infant(2days old) who was buried alive. The most disgraceful, shameful and disreputable act I ever heard of. The reason was simple, infant is a baby girl. And this brutal incident happened in my village 'Utkur'. Maharoon Begum, is the mother of infant. She is the second one among seven sisters. Unfortunately, she became pregnant premaritally. The parents hid the truth and got her married to an young Abdul. But after realising the truth he just left her at her mother's place and fled from her. Couple of days back Maharoon gave birth to this pre-matured baby. The addition of new baby girl pinched maharoon's family and their insanity compelled them to act as barbarians(I think even a barbarian would feel insulted with this comparison). They wrapped the baby in a cloth and buried her alive in a two feet deep hole. But she was found in couple of hours by a stranger wandering through that way. The baby survived in the burial for more than three hours, a miracle.

This time a miracle saved a life. But we all know miracles are seldom. Its an unimaginable pain to learn these brutal acts. The nation where the modern supreme court has suggested that judicial hanging should be given only in the rarest of rare cases, where as in the incident above an infant was punished for nothing, absolutely nothing. Surprisingly the mistake was committed by the mother and the punishment was given to the infant, how imbecilic??? The greatest of great cultures also have failed to recognise the women as fellow human-beings.

I am very much disappointed with myself. My long term dream turned into a nightmare. I feel remorseful and sickened to take the name of my village on my lips which, once, I was proud of.

(http://eenadu.net/panelhtml.asp?qrystr=htm/panel1.htm)

Farewell Reception..

That day July 3rd 2003, I was tired as I had been at work since 6AM in the morning. Everybody was in festive mood. People were buying liquor and getting ready for the long weekend. I was so hungry and I went straight to Chinese buffet after I got off from work and ate up to the brim of my throat. At the end, I cracked open cookie to see the fortune note. It said “something nice coming in your mail”. Even though, I don’t believe in this stuff, but on that day my alter ego compelled me to rush home to check my mail. I went straight to home and checked my mails, nothing was there. Then I went to see in another source. I had one new email in my inbox. I was all excited and but not anymore after looking at the subject, and the subject was ‘Sorry’ from my cousin. I opened the email and learned that my grand mother passed away that morning.

That mail was disturbing and disruptive. My eyes got wet; I cried out, I screamed, I shedded tears in pain, an unfathomable pain. I called home and broke down in tears for a long time. At that time all I needed was a shoulder to cry on, and I couldn’t even get that. My grand mother was very dear to me. I grew up under her supervision. I was her dearest grandson. She would come to my rescue any time of the day. I believe without her, those shoes would remain unoccupied. It has been four years since she left us; I miss my grand mother very much. I wish I was there during her last breath. During my recent trip to India, I found her picture hanging on the wall. It was perturbing to see her that way. I consider this incident as the most unfortunate one in my life.

I believe she couldn’t stay away from us for longer times, so she came back to us as my niece. Yes, my niece, SIRI, came into this world on the very same day my grand mother left us (of course different years). Siri is a gifted child. She was born with silver spoon in her mouth and always gets that special attention where she goes. Today, we are celebrating her 1st birthday. I wish I could make it home but this distance always prevents me from doing so, but this distance is also helping me grow infectiously affectionate.

Happy birthday SIRI.

Swades..

'Yeh Jo Des Hai… ', this song brings a special feeling, hard to express in words, it reminds me of Home very much. I love this song, I have listened to it numerous times, and in fact, I watched that movie more than dozen times. Probably AR’s one of the best compositions so far. I hope he still has lot to offer. Listening to the song itself was inspiring but watching it on the silver screen was heartening, moving. The platform set for the song in the movie was perfect. I am sure; most of us must have pictured our selves in place of protagonist, Shahrukh.

Not only this song, but the entire album is a gem of its kind. Every song brings the feeling of accomplishment, every song is refreshing, inspirational, invigorating. Background music beats the best of bests. It is smooth, slick and scintillating. There are few situations where BGM brings life to the scenes, like when SRK peeps out through the window of flight to get a glimpse of land, land of India, and when SRK first time drives his caravan into Charanpur following the directions of chikku, when SRK visits a old, poor farmer to collect the rent, absolutely stunning, and many more. Music tells the story; music reflects the mood, agony, or joys the person going through.

I believe this was the one of the dazzling efforts from all the artists. Direction was a balanced one. The only problem was people found it difficult to understand the pain suffered by Indians living outside India. Not only that, it was lacking all the bollywood masala and the length of the movie was a bit more. But I don’t mind watching another dozen times; after all it depicts people like me.

I don’t really care about its commercial success. I think, movie is one the best in recent times. The biggest asset of the movie was music provided by, none other than, ARR. He is the best.

yeh jo des hai tera

swades hai tera

tujhe hai pukara

yeh woh bandhan haijo

kabhi toot nahin sakta

mitti ki hai jo khushbhoo

tu kaise bhoolayega

tu chaahe kahin jaaye

tu laut ke aayega

nayi nayi raahon mein

dabbi dabbi aahon mein

khoye khoye dil se tere

koi yeh kahega

tujhse zindagi hai yeh kahe rahi

sabh to paa liya abh hai kya kami

yunh to saare sukh hai barse

par door tu hai apne ghar se

aa laut chal tu abh deewanae

jahan koi to tujhe apna maane

awaaz de tujhe bulaane wahi des

yeh pal hai wahi

jis mein hai chuupi

koi ek saadi, saari zindagi

tu na pooch raaste mein kaahe

aaye hain is tarha do raahein

tu hi to hai raah jo sujhaye

tu hi to hai abh to jo yeh bataye

chaahe to kis disha mein jaaye wahi des

Stressful IDLE

These days my life at work is little easy, in fact more than that. I am more relaxed and I have too much time to kill. The relaxation levels are little too much that I can be online half of my hours at work. It sounds fun as well as scary.

It sounds fun because you don’t have to work, you don’t have to think, you don’t have to put your brain under stress, you just have to be there and do nothing. It sounds scary because you are idle, you get weird ideas, and you tend to browse unofficial or unauthorized websites, you tend to find some eccentric ideas to kill time instead of utilizing it in constructive way and deep down somewhere I have this feeling that I might get laid off as I don’t have anything to work on now. First of all why am I in this kind of situation? Well, we did what we could and what we should. We have just been waiting on to receive our materials to get started. Apparently here waiting time is more than the time required to design a project. This is how it has been organized here. I am not sure if we could say organized any more. If it was organized then I wouldn’t be writing this blog.

Killing time is the most stressful thing in the world. Believe me; the levels of stress are much worst than that of when you actually work your butt off. I have all the time in the world. I get ready in the morning and I land up on time at work, just to find out that I have whole day to kill. I sit there in front of my computer, browsing desultorily, reading news, sports or what not. In between, I stretch, I walk around, and I doze off, I sing, I chat, and I wait for the clock to tick 5PM.

Believe me; I would have killed myself, if it was not for some beautiful conversations in between. Thanks to Gmail.

Oops, I got my materials, I am going back to work now…

పెళ్ళి చూపులు...

ఆఖరికి పెదనాన్న ఇంటికి చేరుకొన్నాము. ఆ ట్రాఫిక్ లో ఉన్నంత సేపు సరైన సమయానికి చేరుకొంటామో లేదో అని ఒకటే బెంగ అమ్మ, వదినలకు. అనుకొన్నటైముకు చేరుకున్న అలవాటు ప్రకారం పెదనాన్న, 'ఎంటమ్మా! ఇంత లేటు' అన్నారు. అలా అన్న మరుక్షణమే నన్ను తొందరగ మొహం కడుక్కొని తెమలమని నస మొదలయ్యింది. ఇక వాళ్ళ పోరు భరించలేక బాత్ రూము లోకి దూరాను. కాని ఒక చెవి మాత్రము బయటి మాటలను వింటూనే ఉంది. పద్ధతి ప్రకారం ఏమేమి తీసుకొని వెళ్ళాలో వివరిస్తున్నారు పెదనాన్న.

పెదనాన్న మరియు అమ్మాయి తండ్రి, ముప్పై ఏళ్ళ నుంచి మంచి మిత్రులట. ఈ సంబంధం గురించి చెప్పగానే అమ్మాయిని చూడాల్సిన అవసరం లేదు ఏకంగా పెళ్ళి ముహుర్తం పెట్టుకొందాము అని ఒకటే గొడవ. ఆఖరికి నా బాధను అర్థం చేసుకొన్న నాన్న, పెదనాన్న కు వివరంగా వివరించాక ఒకసారి మాట్లాడడానికి ఒప్పుకొన్నారు. తనకు రావడం కుదరదంటూ బాధ్యత అంతా పెదనాన్నకు అప్పగించారు నాన్న. నా పరిస్థితి ఇప్పుదు వెనుక నుయ్యి ముందు గొయ్యి లాగ అయ్యింది. చూడకుండ పెళ్ళి చేసుకొలేను అలాగని చూసినతరువత నచ్చకపోతే, పెదనాన్న నన్ను తన సెంటిమెంటు సముద్రములో ముంచేలా ఉన్నాడు.

'ఇంకెంతసేపు రా!' అంటు తలుపు కొట్టాడు అన్నయ్య. తను నచ్చిన అమ్మాయిని చేసుకొన్న అన్నయ్య కేమి తెలుసు నా బాధ, అనుకొంటూనే 'వస్తున్న' అంటూ బయటికి వెళ్ళాను. 'ఇవిగో కొత్త బట్టలు' అంటు చెల్లి కొన్ని టిప్స్ ఇచ్చి వెళ్ళింది. కాని నా పరిస్థితి ఎవరికి చెప్పేది. పాతికేళ్ళుగ ఎదురుచూస్తున్న ఘడియ రానే వచ్చింది, ఈ పరీక్ష ఎలా ఉంటుందొ కనీసం పరీక్ష ఏ సబ్జెక్ట్ కూడ తెలియని విధార్థి లాగ తెల్ల మొహం వేసుకొని నేను, పరీక్ష పాస్ అయిన విధ్యార్థులకు పట్టా ఇచ్చేద్దామన్నంత సంతోషంతో పెదనాన్న, మమ్మల్ని అనుసరిస్తు వాళ్ళలో వాళ్ళు గుసుగుసలాడుతూ మిగతా దండు బయల్దేరింది. ఇక దారిపొడగున నాకు వాళ్ళ మైత్రి మమకార కథలతో శ్రవణానందం చేసాడు పెదనాన్న. నీటిని చేరడానికి గట్టు మీది కొట్టుకుంటున్న చేప లాగ ఉంది నా పరిస్థితి.

ఇంతలో ఇల్లు రానే వచ్చింది. తిరుపతి దేవుడిని చూసినంత ఆనందం. కాని లోపల తంతు గుర్తుకు వచ్చి మళ్ళీ గుండె వేగం పుంజుకుంది.

రండి రండి అంటూ బయటికి వచ్చారు అమ్మాయి తండ్రి. పరస్పర పరిచయాలు ముగిసాక, హైదరాబాదు ట్రాఫిక్ ను తిట్టడం అయ్యాక అసలు విషయంలోకి దూకారు, ఆతృతగా, అందరు. ఇక అప్పుడు కురిసింది నా పై ప్రశ్నల వర్షం. నా ఉద్యోగం, నా జీతం, అందులో నా జీవితం, నేను కట్టే పన్నులు, నేను తీయించుకొన్న పన్నులు, నేను తిరిగే బండి, నేను తినే తిండి, నా చుట్టు ఉండే పరిసరాలు, ఆ పరిసరాలలో పారే నదులు, ఆ నదులు వెళ్ళి కలిసే సాగరాలు, అన్ని వివరాలు అడిగారు. నాకు భూగోళంలో ఇంత ప్రవేశం ఉందని నాకే తెలియదు అప్పటిదాక. మరీ బోనులో ముద్దాయిలా కాకుండ అప్పుడప్పుడు నన్ను అడుగు అంటూనే తను చెప్పలనుకొన్నది చెప్పేస్తున్నారు పెదనాన్న. నేను మాత్రం అమ్మాయి తల్లి తండ్రి మొహాలు చూస్తు అమ్మాయి ఎలా ఉంటుందొ ఊహించుకొంటున్నాను. ఇక ఆ ప్రశ్నల వర్షంలో తడిసి ముద్దయ్యాక 'పాప' అంటూ ముద్దుగ పిలిచారు అమ్మాయి తండ్రి. అప్పటివరకు నిరాశతో నిస్తేజంగా ఉన్న నాకు, తెలియని ఆత్రుత అందోళనతో రోమాలు నిక్క పొడుచుకొన్నాయి.

సిగ్గుపడుతూ అమ్మయి బయటికి రానే వచ్చింది. నేను కొంచం ఇబ్బందిగానే, ఇష్టంగానే తలపైకెత్తి చూసున్నాను. తను మాత్రం నన్ను తల వంచుకొని తొంగి చూస్తుంది. ఇంతలో అమ్మ, వదిన మరియు చెల్లి వాళ్ళు అడగాలనుకొని తయారు చేసుకొన్న ప్రశ్నావళి మొదలెట్టారు. అమ్మాయి అణుకువగా, వణుకుతున్న కంఠంతో ఒపికగా జవాబిస్తుంది. అలా సాఫిగా సాగుతున్న తంతులో పెదనాన్న చిన్న అడ్డుపుల్ల వేసారు. మమ్మల్ని,అంటే నన్ను అమ్మాయిని, పక్కకు వెళ్ళి మాట్లాడుకొమన్నారు. నేను ఉత్సాహం చూపకపొయిన ప్రొత్సాహంలా కనిపించిన వారి పోరుకు తట్టుకోలేక నోరు మూసుకొని పక్క గదిలోకి జారుకొన్నాను.

గదిలో ఒక కుర్చీలో నేను తన కోసం ఎదురుచూస్తున్నాను. ఇంతలో తను చేతిలో ఫలహారం, టీ పట్టుకొని లోపలకి వచ్చింది. 'తీసుకోండి' అంటు నా వైపు చూసింది, ఆఖరికి తన 'ముఖారవిందం' చూసే అదృష్టం దక్కింది నాకు. ఇంత సేపు ముక్కు, చెవి, కన్ను, ఇలా ఒక్కొక్క అంగం చూసి, తన రూపం ఊహించుకోలేక పొతున్న నా మట్టి బుర్రకు అర్థం అయ్యేలా, జక్కన ఓపికగా చెక్కిన శిల్పంలా ఉంది. ప్రపంచంలోని అందాన్ని కుప్పగ పోసి, దానితో తయారు చేసిన రూపమే తను. వెళ్ళి పెదనాన్న కాళ్ళు మొక్కాలనిపించింది. ఇలా అందమైన అలోచనల అఘాథంలో మునిగిన నాకు, 'ఏవండి' అన్న పిలుపు వినిపించిది. కలను కట్టిపెట్టి తన కళ్ళను చూస్తు కమ్మని గొంతును అస్వాదించాలనుకొన్నాను. అయితే మొహామాటంతో ముడుచుకుపోయిన తనకు నిర్భయంగా తను చెప్పాలనుకొన్నది చెప్పమన్నాను.

అలా పదిహేను నిముషాలు గడిచాక, 'అన్నయ్య! ఇక వెళదామా' అంటూ చెల్లి తలుపు కొట్టింది. ఇంతలో వదిన 'ఇక ఇంటికి రావా' అంటూ ఆటపట్టించింది. నేను మాత్రం నొట మాట రాక బయటకు నడిచాను. బయట పెదనాన్న నవ్వుతూ స్వాగతం పలికాడు. ఇక అందరు ఆలస్యం అవుతుందని పద్దతి ప్రకారం వీడ్కోలు వ్యవహారం ముగించి పెదనాన్న ఇంటికి బయదేరాము. తిరుగు ప్రయాణం అంత అభిప్రాయ వేదికల నిలయంగా మారింది. నేను మాత్రం శిలా విగ్రహంలా రోడ్డుని చూస్తూ కూర్చున్నాను.

పెదనాన్న ఇంటికి చేరుకొన్నాము. అక్కదే భోజనాలు ముగించి ఇంటికి బయలుదేరాము. ప్రయాణం మధ్యలో సెల్ ఫోను మోగింది. అటువైపు పెదనాన్న, ఇంకొకసారి తన మిత్రుడి గురించి, వాళ్ళ కుటుంబం గురించి, తన మైత్రి గురించి చెప్పి నా నిర్ణయం అడిగాడు. ఇంతలో సిగ్నల్ లేదు అన్నట్టుగ వినిపించట్లేదు అని ఇంటికి వెళ్ళాక ఫోను చేస్తాను అన్నాను, కాని తనకు నేను తగనని చెప్పిన తన అభిప్రాయం గుర్తొచ్చి, మబ్బుల వెనక చంద్రుణ్ణి, చంద్రునిలో దాగని మచ్చను చూస్తు మూగబోయాను.

Days of My Life

Well today is Thursday, and Thursday s are torturous. Thursday means almost weekend. I am just a day away from weekend, but passing the one day would be a gigantic task. I have this mixed feeling on this day; I am excited and dejected at the same time. I just want to get over with the day.

Fridays are entirely different. The day starts off with smile and shine on face. There is an inexplicable joy in Friday morning. It feels like, I worked hard all week long, I deserve a weekend, off from work. But, have I really worked hard is another thing, glad, I don't have to answer anybody. All starts good in the morning, but the trouble comes in the second session of the work. I feel clock is ticking intentionally slowly, testing my patience levels. I know, eventually it will be 5PM, but the inquisitiveness and the curiosity levels always push me hard to feel this session as longest of the week, it's like food already set on the table and I am waiting for the word GO, I hate that. But once I see clock hitting 5PM, I feel I am liberated, I am free to go, I feel like Andy Dufresne, who escaped from Shawshank prison.

Saturday is the best day of the week; it's like a safe bet. I can get up late, I can watch movies all day long, I can go out on a drive, I can do this, or I can skip that. I tend to enjoy every moment of Saturday. Then comes the Sunday, this one is like working vacation. Even though, I have whole day off, I have to get myself ready for Monday, I feel like 'a' prisoner out of his bail time and who has to get ready to go back to prison.

Mondays are boring, I am still nostalgic; I need a whole Monday to get accustomed to the work environment. Tuesday is again good, I am back to work, I am enthusiastic, I am well pumped up, and I am rejuvenated. Wednesday gives the feeling of accomplishment, I am halfway through to weekend. So far journey was smooth, and sophisticated. I just back myself up for keeping work rolling fast.

I never thought, I would write something like this. During my engineering days, I always hated weekends, as we did not have classes scheduled on the weekends. That was not the main reason why I hated. But now the other way, I like weekends, as everybody does, at least most of us do. I just had to change myself with the time and that's the way life goes here.

Wanted: COACH

And the nightmare continues to haunt BCCI. This was an unanticipated predicament. The offer to coach Team India, one of the prestigious positions in cricket world, has been discarded by Graham Ford, quoting the personal reasons. When everybody was writing on how Ford had to approach Team India to bring them back on the winning track, he surprised everyone with his decision to stay with Kent, leaving the BCCI back to square once again.

This time the agony is more and the scar is deep. This was totally an unforeseen situation. The total process started off in bizarre. There were some voices raised loud against the choice of foreigner as coach, some blatant statements were made by veterans, like Kapil Dev. But BCCI ignored everything and kept their hunt alive very much for a foreigner for coach position. At first, it almost offered the position to Whatmore, who publicly announced his keen interest in coaching Team India and even BCCI have gone through some preliminary scanning on Whatmore in Bangladesh, while team India were there. Even though it felt like Whatmore would be the next coach, BCCI surprised everyone with ruling out the chances. Then Graham Ford came into the picture, a South African, currently working with Kent. Just to make the show interesting they introduced a dummy competitor John Emburey, who was an ordinary cricketer and an under achieved coach. Even Emburey must have surprised by the call from BCCI for inviting him to attend an interview. As expected, BCCI banked the hopes on Graham Ford, who left them to drown right in the middle of the sea. BCCI must have been humiliated with the current situation. The so called sturdy biceps of BCCI have turned into unwanted swollen muscles.

During all this process, there was clear rebuke from veterans on having a foreigner as coach. I clearly don’t understand the logic behind how a compatriot coach would enhance the cricketing skills more than that of a foreigner. I believe coach has a minimal role to play in cricket. It all depends on how players perform on a given day and at given situation. The main responsibility of coach should be that of a guide who would lead the players in correct way and pump them up when players are demoralized and dispirited. The person has to back the players when they are low on confidence and pat their back when they are running high in form. For this, we need a person with good cricketing skills with never die attitude and he could be an Indian or a foreigner.

Anyway, BCCI has lot to work on in less time now. They have a big itinerary of cricket this year and hopefully we would see an end to this brouhaha soon.

When a Stranger Calls..

These days I am always late to work. No matter how hard I try to be on time, I end up being late. I hate to be pointed out. I was not like this before. I am late to work coz I am getting up late in the morning, and I am getting up late only because I am going to bed late. I am going to bed late because, I am spending most of my after work time on my cell phone, speaking to a stranger.

Is this happening everyday? Yes, I have been more on phone these days, I mean way more than I ever had been. I prefer to speak to someone on phone rather than meeting in person. I feel more comfortable in speaking to the person on phone as there are no appearance problems or presentation problems. I can go on and on forever on phone (only if the other person is of my choice). The other reason could be scarcity of friends in my place. I don’t get to speak to anybody here, so if I find one I won’t leave until I am out of my topics. Among these phone calls, I like speaking to strangers. I really love it, as you have whole lot of things to discuss on. He/she doesn’t know anything about you, so the show has to start right from beginning. It’s like inviting me to dinner and asking me to pick the menu. I can pick the topic and I can cut the topic in between. I am like king of my domain. I am like host and guest of my own talk show. And the best part is they have to listen to all my crap and wait for their turn to say bye. I like when I see my cell phone ringing, displaying a new number, it is like gates of a dam opened up for the water to stream thru and jump up and down till they get subdued.

Why don’t I get this feeling with my old friends? Well, the first reason is they are old, I mean they know all your tricks and vice versa. It’s like, as Seinfeld says, two magicians trying to trick each other. Even before you start to work on a trick, you will get a response that you don’t expect in response; it’s more like a rebuke. It’s just a futile effort. There are some other friends who are friends with you since longtime but you don’t know anything about them. I feel there are some relationships, which might be old, but definitely not as strong as you expect them to be. These are like season special, if it is cold outside, you wear a jacket, if it is hot, you just take it off.

Anyway, I don’t think it’s strange that I like calls from strangers, but the real problem is getting a call from stranger. I can’t ask someone to call me on my cell phone. If I could ask some one then he/she wouldn’t be a stranger, would he?

(I believe, I do have some friends with whom, even after these many years, I can still go on and on, and those can simply ignore this.)

గమ్యం..

అది సాయంత్రం

మళ్ళీ ప్రయాణం ప్రారంభించాను

అదే పాత రోడ్డుపైన

అదే పాత కారులోన

దారులన్ని సుపరిచితం

పలకరింపు కోరడమే అనుచితం

శీతాకాలం చలికి వణికాను

ఎండకాలం వేడికి మరిగాను

వానకాలం జడికి తడిసాను

కారుచీకటిలో దివ్వెనయ్యాను

కటిక అడవిలో లేడినయ్యాను

మారుతున్న ఋతువులకు సాక్ష్యంగా

మారని సేతువయ్యాను

రూపుమారిన బాటలో

రూటుమారని బాటసారయ్యాను

కాలం గడిచిన పరిచయం పెరగలేదు

గమ్యం తెలియని ప్రయాణం ఆగలేదు

(నేను గత రెండు ఏళ్ళుగా ఒకే దారిలో ప్రయాణిస్తున్నాను, ఒంటరిగా. ప్రతి అడుగు నాకు దగ్గరగానే అనిపిస్తుంది కాని, ఆ మార్గం ఎప్పుడు నన్ను పలకరించునట్టుగా అనిపించదు. ఫ్రతి సారి ఒక పరాయి వ్యక్తిని చూసినట్టుగ చూస్తుంది. నేను చేరాలనుకొన్న గమ్యం ఆ ప్రయాణంలో రాదు, నేను చేరుకొనే గమ్యం, గమ్యం కాదు. అయినా, ఈ ప్రయాణంతో నా ప్రణయం ఆగట్లేదు, ఈ ప్రణయంలో అంతఃప్రళయం తగ్గట్లేదు.)

చీకటి...

నలువైపుల అలుముకున్న చీకటి నా కళ్ళకున్న పరదాను తొలిగించింది
నీళ్ళలో దీపంలా వెలిగే నీ రూపం కరిగిపొతుందన్న
భయంతో కన్నీళ్ళు కళ్ళలోనే ఇంకిపోయాయి.

దూరంగా చెట్లలోనుంచి వినిపిస్తున్న కోయిల రాగం
నీ పిలుపులా అనిపించి చెవులు తలుపులు తెరిచాయి

చంద్రుడు కురిపిస్తున్న చల్లటి వెన్నెల
నీ చూపుల మహిమలా అనిపించింది

పచ్చని ఆకుపైన మెరిసే నీటి ముత్యం
ఎర్రటి నీ బుగ్గన సొట్టలాగ కనిపించింది

ఇంతలో ఉత్సాహంగా ఉదయంచిన సూర్యుడు
నా అందమైన కలకు అంధకారం మిగిల్చాడు

చీకటి కోసం కలవరించే నా కళ్ళను తెరుస్తూ
కనుమరుగయ్యాను నేను...

2yrs at Dresser..

It has been two years since I started working for Dresser Inc. I can safely say that, these two years have been more educative and more interactive in terms of understanding the industrial and engineering process than my college days.

Two years back, I was demoralized and was low on confidence after having not been picked in two of interviews. This was the only opportunity I had and competition was pretty intense. But, I was favored against the other eight competitors and believe me, felt pretty happy to be chosen by a reputed company as well was petrified to step into corporate world. It is my first job and first jobs are always informative and instructional. Learning curve for me was smooth and simple. My colleagues were very much patient in making me understand things better. They explained me each and every bit of the process we follow here.

I still remember my first day; I was given all the company catalogues and asked to go through them to understand the products of the company. I wasn’t comfortable right from the beginning of the day. It was too early to be at work at that time (I used to get up around 10AM) and reading was the one habit that I had given up long back and in my cubicle AC was running cold and it was quite all around, so what would you do… take a nap. It became a Herculean task to be there awake and alert through out the day. It took me couple of weeks to get adjusted to the timings and that was the first and best lesson.

Apart from getting up in the morning and remaining awake during the work, I learned so many things; I mean things related to engineering. During these two years many things were changed. Few people left the company, and few were let go. Every time, someone left the company, I was terrified to continue at work, but it’s just the way of life, no matter what, the show must go on. Every time I learned something new I ended up thinking where I was when these were discussed or told.

Anyway, I am very much happy with my work and the way I developed the rapport with my colleagues and I hope they also feel the same. After two yrs of experience, I feel confident and I am all ready to take new challenges and hope to have a smooth and shining career ahead.

Shootout at Lokhandwala

Last weekend, I watched SOAL at Houston. It was a pitiable idea of one of my friends and the movie was pathetic. The hype and the publicity lured him and forced us to watch the imbecilic acts of all the actors.

The director’s idea making a movie based real incident was applaud able. But, to make such a movie one needs to forget the commercial side of the movie. One needs to do lot of research on what happened before and during and after the incident. That was the biggest drawback of the movie. The director totally failed in refraining from bollywood masala. The goons were better at dance than at donnish acts. Songs were always interrupting the movie plot and screenplay was wretched. The artists of the movie were not at all doing justice to the characters they were playing. Especially it was a burden to see Vivek Oberoi trying to act as bhai (he tried to repeat his Chandu role from Company). For the God sake, somebody request Sunil Shetty to stop acting. To see him on the big screen with his usual dorky act was intimidating, menacing. Abhishek’s role can be done by anybody. He was there in the movie just for a phone call, pity on him.

On the whole the movie was one big disaster. The director’s idea of showing the main leads as one man show was indigestible. I am sure, in the real incident nothing would have happened the way he showed in the movie. After all police surrounded the building with ammunition and the goons were killed in the encounter, not by exchange of the punches on face. Anyway, one last advice, don’t watch the movie.

VENA Contracta

It’s amazing to learn that small changes could bring the big differences. I am talking about science, in other words engineering and one would know it better through experience only.

I have been working on a project related to pressure relief valves which requires an approval from National Board, and should be in compliance with the ASME standards and codes. The National board approval is possible only if we could achieve a certain amount discharge of the medium obeying all other operational requirements. We could able to follow all operational requirements but achieving required discharge resulted in futile effort. Everyday, we tried with new spring and new set pressure values but the result was same. No matter how many changes we made in springs, the results always backfired at us. Then we started digging into our basics and I believe, that was the best step of the whole project.

In our valve, we have a nozzle which supposed to have an angular step on the pathway of medium. But unfortunately the step, which was supposed to be a smooth transition, was a sharp step (like a chamfer), causing an obstacle in the flow path. This obstacle may seem to be a tiny one, but the theory behind the low discharge was outstanding. This small step caused the flow to form 'vena contracta'.

At the 'vena contracta' pressure drop occurs. Even though it gains some pressure after passing through the vena contracta, it would always be less then the initial pressure. Even though the valve opens at the rated set pressure (as per the spring force), the drop in pressure causes the valve to close very early which would eliminate the option of reaching the full capacity at required/predefined pressure value. Hence, the low discharge. The slight inaccuracy in transition (dimension of the transition 0.025”) resulted in deficient discharges (almost 200 lb/hr less), isn’t it amazing??? I am not quite sure if this was the main cause for the low discharge, but I can say that it was one of the definite reasons for the failure.

Even though, we all read about the vena contracta, but we would understand its affect only when we face this kind of problem. In fact, not only this, but all the theories.
(Picture taken from Spirax-Sarco Ltd)

Karwaan Guzar Gaya..

The very first time I listened to this song, I felt like, I was the person the song was implied on. “Karwaan guzar gaya...” is probably one of the best songs ever written in Hindi poetry. Md.Rafi gave life to the song by his unarguably and lovable voice. Gopal Das Neeraj, the poet, is among the best known poets in Hindi literature. The song depicts the predicament of a lonely person who was deserted by his loved ones. He used figurative language and tried to describe the plight of a deserted man with different metaphors like shredding of leaves in fall, destruction of calm by storm etc. The primary lyric of the song “Karwaan gujar gaya, gubaar dekhte rahe” is the essence of the song, which conveys the message of the entire song. It means “Gone is caravan - seek my eyes in vain, All I see is dust - dust full of cloudy train”, implying the message that things are moving away in front of my eyes, and all I could do is see and face the consequences.

Probably this is the best way to explain the pain a person undergoes who is betrayed by the loved ones. He portrayed all the pain and agony into these beautiful words to give a feel of what the person is going through. The poet has strike the perfect and commendable balance in the way he used the Hindi and Urdu.

Everybody goes through the kind of phase described in the song at least once in a lifetime. The phase where you realize it is too late to embrace your aspiration, where you look helplessly at your dreams that are shattered by the time and fate, and you realize that all that time you were there standing haplessly and watching hopelessly at the debacle of time. This entire trauma is encapsulated in one song. Each word, each line has its own significance, has its own inner depth of feelings and leaves its own impact on the listener. This song is perfect example for a ‘Pleasant Hell’.

Here is the song..

Swapn jhare phool se,meet chubhhe shool se,
lut gaye shringaar sabhii baag ke babool se ;
aur hum khhade-khhade bahaar dekhte rahe
kaarwaan guzar gayaa, gubaar dekhte rahe !

Neend bhi khulii na thii ki haay dhoop dhhal gayii,

paav jab talak uthein ki zindagii phisal gayii,

paatpaat jhhar gaye ki shaakhh-shaakhh jal gayii,

chaah to nikal sakii na, par umar nikal gayii,

geet ashk ban gaye,chhand ho dafan gaye,

saath ke sabhi diye dhhuaa-dhhuaa pehan gaye,

aur hum jhhuke-jhhuke,mod par ruke-ruke,

umr ke chadhhaav ka utaar dekhte rahe

kaarwaan guzar gayaa, gubaar dekhte rahe !

Kya shabaab tha ki phool-phool pyaar kar uthhaa,

kya suroop thha ki dekhh aayinaa sihar uthha,

is taraf zameen aur aasmaan udhar uthha

thhaam kar jigar uthha ki jo milaa nazar uthha,

ek din magar yahaan,aisii kuchh hawaan chalii,

lut gayii kalii-kalii ki ghhut gayii galii-galii,aur hum lute-lute,

waqt se pite-pite,saans ki sharaab ka khumaar dekhte rahe

kaarwaan guzar gaya, gubaar dekhte rahe !

Haath the mile ki zulf chaand ki sanwaar doon,

honthh the khule ki har bahaar ko pukaar doon,

dard tha diyaa gayaa ki har dukhii ko pyaar doon,

aur saans yun ki swarg bhoomi par utaar doon,

ho sakaa na kuch magar,shaam ban gayi sahar,

vah uthi lahar ki deh gaye kile bikhar-bikhar,

aur hum dare-dare,neer nayan mein bhare,

odhkar kafan, pade mazaar dekhte rahe

kaarwaan guzar gaya, gubaar dekhte rahe !

Maang bhar chali ki ek, jab nayi-nayi kiran,

dhholke dhumak uthhii, thhumak uthhe charan-charan,

shor mach gaya ki lo chalii dulhan, chalii dulhan,

gaanv sab umad padaa, behak uthe nayan-nayan,

par tabhii zehar bharii,gaaz ek beh girii,

punchh gayaa sindhoor taar-taar hui choonri,

aur hum ajaan se, door ke makaan se,

paalkii liye hue kahaar dekhte rahe

kaarwaan guzar gaya, gubaar dekhte rahe !

Meanings:
Kaawaan : Caravan
Gubaar : Dirt, Dust
Ashk : Tears
Dafan : Buried
Sehar : Magic
Sahar : Dawn, Morning
Kafan : Cloth to cover the corps, Shroud
Mazaar : Mausoleum, shrine, Tomb

(By my Friend and me)